Coach Mom Says...

Part 2 of Question I have for Debra Medina

2010-03-02T13:47:00.002-06:00

Everybody makes mistakes. We all use poor grammar. (OK, some of us more than others.) We spell words incorrectly. (OK, again, some of us more than others.) We certainly say things we wish we hadn't said. This happens to political candidates more publicly than it does to the common folk. When I hear somebody back track from something that they said, this is what I want to hear clarification of what you really do think, not further ambiguity. These next few questions deal with this.

3. On Glenn Beck's show, many of us heard what Debra Medina had to say about the 9-11 attacks. There is no question that Glenn Beck came right after her on it, and I couldn't figure out why until I heard her answers to the question. I am all for holding the American government accountable to its people. It's true that we have the right as American citizens to hold our government accountable to us. That's not the question. The question wasn't if she believed other people were allowed to question the Bush administration on their culpability. The question was whether she was or not. Her answer to this day is that she does not have all the evidence. She might not be publicly asking the question but she's not saying straight out that she doesn't believe it either. I don't understand standing in the middle, unless you are trying to appeal to those people standing on the fence, or you really are a "Truther" but you know saying so is political suicide in the Republican party. When the other two Republican candidates were asked the same question, they had no problem responding immediately that there was no conspiracy by the Bush administration in the 9-11 attacks.

4. Many people believe that Debra Medina is such a great supporter of the 10th Amendment that she favors secession. She certainly led Texans to believe so in one of her recent speeches. On the steps of the Texas State Capitol, she said, “We are aware that stepping off into secession may in fact be a bloody war. We are aware that the tree of freedom is occasionally watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots.” (This is the moment that I am sure many of my friends thought that I would turn my support to Medina. But I have heard Perry speak at the Austin Tea party in support the 10th Amendment and secession if necessary.) Unfortunately, when asked what Medina meant by these comments, she backpedaled and said that she is not in favor of secession. I am not sure if that is true or if she felt political pressure. Either way, I believe that the people who support her for this reason would be disappointed. In fairness, I think she will be strong on the 10th Amendment, but I believe any Republican candidate will have to be at this juncture. With the healthcare law looming in Congress, Texas will have to protect it's pro-life laws with the 10th amendment.

To summarize before I move on to Part 3, if indeed I have time for a part 3. I believe that all the candidates that are running in the gubernatorial race this year are politicians, even those who proclaim themselves not to be. I believe that all of them have had issues on which I have agreed and disagreed. I choose to focus on Debra Medina, because I felt like when I looked into her and what she stood for I understood less about her than I learned. If I have learned anything, it is that change for the sake of change isn't always good.

50 Things (or fewer) I Need to Know about Debra Medina

2010-03-02T11:03:00.007-06:00

This past Friday, the "Dallas Morning News" published a hard hitting look (excuse the sarcasm) at all of the gubernatorial candidates called "50 Things You Need to Know About _(insert Candidate's Name)__". To be fair, all of the candidates were covered in the same weak way. It read more like trivial pursuit game card answers than facts that I NEEDED to know about the candidates. Honestly, I am glad that Governor Perry's parents drove he and his then future wife around on their dates. That's probably a great policy that needs to be enacted by many more parents of sons! And it's great that Debra Medina's parents had her play the tenor sax. Music education is important. But, again, are these the things I need to know about the candidates?

When I started thinking about it, I realized that I knew many facts about where Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson and Governor Rick Perry stand on the issues. They have been in the public eye for a while now. But I still had many questions about Debra Medina, and the more I looked into her, the more concerned I became...

Here are my questions that I would have wanted answered from Medina before today. As there were no satisfactory answers to these questions, she did not receive my vote. It seems as though Medina, pushes hot buttons, then gets the crowd riled up, then after she gets the desired results, when she is asked what her plan is or what she meant by something, she backs off. This is the difference between being a candidate and being a governor.

1. Child Protective Services...In a speech in Witchita Falls, Medina said that CPS should be disbanded. This is a complicated issue. When you are a candidate you can afford to pick a hot button issue, like CPS, in an area that has a negative view of something, like CPS, and just push it. The crowd was riled up and walked away feeling like they were going to give their vote to Medina. Here are the questions...since CPS is provided for under law, does Medina understand all the complications involved in dissolving CPS? What is her plan for enacting a new law to provide for these services? While the Sheriff's department and local police departments could take on the criminal activities, what happens to the non-criminal services that CPS provides such as adoption services? Do we create a new agency for those? Are we really willing to burden an already over burdened police department with these services? Isn't that what the agency was created for? Wouldn't it be better to have an audit and overhaul of the system we already have in place?

2. On the elimination of the Personal Property Tax...Although I would love to see this, I don't want someone to just promise this to me. I have been down that road before, or as I am one to say, "This is not my first rodeo. And this is not even my first time in this event!" If you are proposing the elimination of Personal Property Tax, I would love to hear the plan. How much is Medina planning to raise the sales tax to make up for the tremendous amount of money that the personal property tax brings in? What will it be to raised on? Will the sales tax be raised all at once and the property tax be eliminated all at once or will it be done on a sliding scale each year for the next few years? Or is Medina waiting until she is elected to make a plan only to find as former Governor Gilmore of Virginia once did with his No Car Tax promise that it is not as easy as it seems.

I have seen the document on the tax swap, in fact, I have heard proponents of a consumption tax suggest that we may eliminate the illegal immigration problem if we eliminated the Federal Income tax in favor of the consumption tax. The idea is this, when you do not have personal property tax, you have more spending money, therefore you will consume more, therefore you will be taxed about the same as you would have been anyway. Either way, you are being taxed. The only time this doesn't work, is if you are personally responsible and you don't consume much, which we can all tell ourselves we will do. But don't worry, they have a plan for that!

This model that is being used by the Medina campaign (as well as others) was published by John Maynard Keynes. If you don't know who Keynes is, he is the British economist who suggested in the 1930's that government not the free market could provide for the full employment of their workers as long those workers were willing to be flexible in their wages. In 1999, Time magazine named him one of most 100 influential people of the 20th century saying, "His radical idea that governments should spend money they don't have may have saved capitalism".

Here is the "Keynesian prescription for alleviating either slow growth or a low level of output at
the state level would include the following types of policy measures 1. Increase government spending, thereby directly increasing aggregate demand 2. Lower taxes, especially through rebates that will have the highest probability of raising consumption 3. Raise taxes on savings and imports to discourage those activities and thereby increase consumption."

I am not interested in a Governor who wants to increase government spending and believes in John Maynard Keynes style of economy.

A Letter from Congressman John Carter

2010-03-02T10:40:00.003-06:00

This letter was written to me by Congressman John R. Carter (House Republican Conference Secretary, Co-Chairman House Army Caucus, Republican Steering Committee, Committee on Appropriations, and current candidate on the Republican Primary Ballot in the 31st District, Texas)

Dear Christie,

With a Democrat-controlled White House, House of Representatives and Senate, Washington is without a check and balance against their liberal agenda. In this session, Republicans have worked together as never before to oppose massive increases in government spending and debt. At the same time, Democrats have marched out an agenda that greatly expands government into all sectors of our life, from healthcare choices to personal finances. House Republicans have continued the fight adamantly to protect American workers, the small business owner, and traditional family values. I will continue to fight our right to bear arms, defend the sanctity of human life, define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, fight for a fair tax policy, and support free and open markets.

I believe life begins at conception and I do not believe that government should condone the taking of innocent human life. that is why I was proud to support the Unborn Victims of Violence Act, also known as the Laci Peterson law. This law protects unborn children from assault and murder. Having served as a judge for more than 20 years, I fully realize the need to protect the rights of victims of violent crimes. Life is a sacred gift from God that must be cherished and celebrated. As a society, we must not take this precious gift for granted. As a committed member of the Pro-Life Caucus, I will continue to defend the sanctity of human life at all stages.

As a conservative Republican, I understand the importance of promoting our principles. Creating jobs, obtaining a balanced budget, reforming Social Security and other entitlement programs will continue to be my primary economic goal. You have my word that I will continue to strengthen our borders, promote a strong national defense, seek market based solutions to healthcare reform, lessen the impact of government in our lives, and as always, work to eliminate wasteful pork barrel spending. If I may be of any assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,
John Carter
Member of Congress

What does it mean to be a Leader in Congress?

2010-03-02T10:17:00.002-06:00

We often hear in ad campaigns this time of year, that a candidate is a "leader". Did you know that there is an actual definition for "Leader" in Congress created by a statistical analysis of their participation in Congress? When someone in Congress is a Leader, with that capital "L", it means that they introduce more legislation than they co-sponsor.

It also means that they don't wait for others to introduce legislation or wait to sign on as a co-sponsor, hanging back to make the best political deal for themselves. They are constantly working towards what they feel is best for their district. Sponsoring these bills often gets them the labels, but they are willing to take on those labels because they feel that they are moving forward in accomplishing their goals for their district.

One of these Leaders is Congressman John Carter (R).

My friends and family will tell you that I haven't given a politician a break since the 70's. I have high expectations of the men and women who esteem themselves ready to serve this country in political office. You can be sure that when I say I hold Congressman Carter in high regard, I have heavily scrutinized him. I may support other candidates for other offices on today's ballot. I fully endorse Congress John Carter. This is not something I would ever say lightly.

Back for One Day!

2010-03-02T09:11:00.002-06:00

I am in the process of creating a series of websites on our families network, which will be ready at the end of my one year sabbatical at the end of March/beginning of April. However, for this one day, in honor of today's primary, I will be blogging about the candidates on the Republican ballot in Texas!

Let's Party!

2009-04-15T07:31:00.005-05:00

This article has been moved to homemadeinamerica.blogspot.com.

Forgiveness isn't easy...

2009-04-01T10:47:00.008-05:00

A few weeks ago, I started blogging about having conversations with your kids. It may have seemed frivolous to start with a discussion of personality. I also pointed out that your children are unique. They are not you and you are not your parents. The reason I started out with these two notions were so that you could have the opportunity to adjust your expectations.

I started with the easy stuff. Now comes the hard part. Forgiveness. In order to really have a clear conversation with your child, you need to come with a clean slate. You cannot do that if you have bitterness and resentment that has been built up over the years. It causes you to project onto their motivations. This bitterness could be from past interactions with a current or past spouse, or with your parents, or with your in-laws, or the list goes on. Sometimes the person you need to forgive is yourself. In any case, it needs to be done so that it doesn't affect your other relationships, especially the one with your children who are less likely to understand.

What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is more than forgetting. It is more than saying, "That's ok," when somebody says that they are sorry. The fact is most of the time when you need to forgive somebody, that person never asked for forgiveness. And truly, the thing that they needed forgiveness from wasn't ok, but the fact that you offer forgiveness now makes it as if it never happened. Does that mean you never think about it again? Well, it's supposed to, but I am not a robot. So often, I have to ask for forgiveness if I do think about it again. That's my own sinfulness, not the other party's.

The world has provided such a crazy, messed up view of what forgiveness is that the only thing I could think of to do was to share my testimony. In advance, let me apologize to my parents who are wonderful people and did a great job of raising me. They are not responsible for other people's actions! In addition, let me be clear. This is not about me. This is about God and His glory, so please although I appreciate the compassion, don't send me a bunch of messages about how sorry you feel. You are not responsible for somebody else's actions either!

There is no easy or appropriate way to say that when I was a girl I was molested by my paternal grandfather. (I could try to hide who it was, but he has passed away now, and while trying to tell my story, it was just too hard to keep that a secret.) I think that we all have heard this story hundreds of times. It's unfortunate that we have. But it is not those events that are my story or my testimony. My testimony begins when I realized that I was still allowing those events to dictate how I behaved in certain circumstances. It dictated who I trusted. It definitely dictated my ability to sleep properly.

Forgiveness is a hard process. And it is definitely a process. I went to a couple of people, but they didn't know where to help me start. The thing is that forgiveness is also very personal. But I can tell you what I did and maybe it will help you.

The first thing I did was ask God to help understand my grandfather more. Why would somebody do something like that? There are all kinds of crazy answers out there, but I knew that God could tell me better. He did. Through prayer, I realized that my grandfather had a horrible upbringing. He had been abused himself. I felt blessed that I did not have parents like that. It helped me to have some compassion for him. It wasn't overnight by any means, but I started to feel some sympathy for him. I know it doesn't make sense to many people. That's why I am telling you. Only God can help you do something like this.

After I started to feel some sympathy towards my grandfather, things sort of snowballed from there. I found myself caring about his welfare. It was clear that he was unwell. You just don't do that kind of thing otherwise. But here we were his family and we were turning our back on him, throwing him out like trash, like he didn't matter. I felt like we needed to get him help. Some people would say that even turning our backs on him was better than he deserved. Plenty of people told me that for justice to be served that he deserved prison or even worse. Once again, I can only point you back to God. I am thankful that I don't get what I deserve. Oh so many times, I have not gotten what I deserved. Praise the Lord for that!

Soon after that I found myself praying for him. I prayed that somebody would come into his life to care for him physically and mentally. I prayed that if he had not made a profession of faith that he would do that, because I knew he did not have much longer to live.

All of a sudden, one day, I remembered something fun that I did with my Grandpa and I laughed. It dawned on me that I loved him. I did. I had not only forgiven him, but I had done it without him asking for forgiveness. Not only had I forgiven him, but our relationship together was no longer defined by that. It was defined by going swimming (seriously ALL the time with the swimming!), and hanging upside down in the tree in the backyard, and his conducting the orchestra on the radio while we sat in downtown Washington, D.C. traffic, and regular grandfather/granddaughter kind of stuff. Just like with my mother's father, who I have great memories about baseball and football, this was no longer any different. I was very sorry when he died, and I hope that I will see him again one day in Heaven. That may be upsetting to some people. It may be hard to hear or understand. But that is the power of God.

Why do I share this story? First, for myself, if I could learn to forgive others in that same way, imagine the freedom I would have! I need to remember every day that it is possible. Second, for my friends, I share this with you, because you can be set free from bitterness too. It just takes one step towards God and one step away from wanting vengeance.

I am absolutely here for anybody who wants to talk about how they can find forgiveness in their lives. Whether you are trying to find forgiveness for yourself for the first time or the hundredth, or you want help to forgive somebody else, my door is always open.

Love you guys! You can do it with God!

Developing Character isn't easy!

2009-04-01T10:08:00.002-05:00

If you have ever done a "Character Curriculum" like Konos or a Bible study that works on a character trait, then you may have noticed the following trend. You start to do a unit on something, only to really struggle with it desperately in your own life. We did a unit on responsibility, only to find out that the kids were slacking off in their chores. This had not really been a struggle in the past, at least as far as I was aware. We did a unit on courage, which brought forth struggles on peer pressure. Some of these struggles were met with success. Others had less than desirable outcomes. However, all of these things provided us with great discussion opportunities.

It's like the old wives tale, "Don't pray for patience." This has grown to the point of supersition among even the most devout Christian woman. I have friends that say it. I refuse to do it. I pray for the strength to deal with I already have on my plate rather than pray for patience. (I'm really weak though, and I have a lot of faults. So, don't use me as a role model. Ever. I only write this blog so that I can tell myself what to do, you know that, right? I knew that you did.) So, what do we think will happen when we pray for patience? That disaster will strike? That our children will behave poorly? Really? More than yesterday?

Why do these things happen? The truth is that these struggles were there all along, but you only noticed them because you began the study. I'm not saying that God doesn't use these studies to grow us, but don't think He is sitting there waiting for a study on stewardship so that He can cause you to lose your job. If we really think hard about it, we know that's not the way God works.

So if all these things were happening before, and we are just are more aware of them now, what should we do? Use them to develop the character of your children and yourself. Hey! That's why you started the study, right?

All of this to say, if you ever wonder why I post that I am going to discuss something on my blog, and I don't come back to it for a while, chances are good that we have had to deal with that issue at home ourselves. Usually, if I catch on (and because I have blond hair that's not all the time), I will try to deal with my issue myself before I continue to post about it. If you are wondering, will we ever get back to confrontation versus correction? Absolutely. Is she ever going to post about dealing with putting your past behind you? I'm trying to get there this week.

And once again, I reiterate, never, ever think that I am telling you these things because I have them nailed. If I ever do anything right, don't look at me. And if I have ever done anything wrong or do anything wrong, please forgive my hurtfulness and arrogance.

Love you guys!

What does it take to be a "Boy Mom"?

2009-03-30T12:21:00.003-05:00

Sometimes when I start telling a story in my Coach Mom way, someone will say, "That's why you are a 'boy mom' and I'm not." I wonder, what does that mean exactly?

Is it because I am a "tomboy"? Because to be fair, my sister Meredith has only boys, and she's about as far from being a "tomboy" as I am from being the Queen of England! She likes clothes, and makeup, and decorating shows, and well, all those things I hate! So that can't be it.

Does it mean that I let the kids live when these things happen? I don't know. Was there another option?

Maybe it's just the way I have a reputation for presenting my story. I think the problem is ya'll think I'm joking or exaggerating. I'm telling you, these things really happen!

Here's a few quick stories to entertain, while I try to put together a blog from about the 8 that are running around in my head right now.

I can't stand phone solicitors. We canceled our phone service and went with cell phones only. This has cut down on many of those pesky calls, except the crazy factory warranty one that everyone gets on their cell phone. AND, the one Phil got from our oldest son last week to try and sell us meat. Mike wanted Phil to ask me if I wanted some. Sure, I want the only time you call me in three weeks to be to ask if I would like to buy some meat from the back of a truck. I think Phil said something to the effect that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to ask me. Then, he asked Phil to ask around at church. Phil told Mike that he was welcome to come to church with us. Honestly, you cannot make this stuff up.

Trampoline enclosure = $159...trampoline mat = $98...not knowing that your neighbors didn't have those things = $9.99 for more blond hair dye...listening to Tutone tell everyone that if he had known that he was going to land on the ground instead of the trampoline that he could have done three flips instead of two...priceless?...no, not really!

And finally at lunchtime today...

I believe this answers the question about whether or not Tutone is back to normal after his concussion. He's baaack...

Tutone: "Can we have spaghetti and meatballs for lunch instead of sandwiches? We'll make it ourselves."
Coach Mom: "I guess so."
Tutone: "Can we have chips too?"
Coach Mom: "Do I look like Monty Hall? What do you think this is? "Let's Make a Deal"?"
(...pause...)
(...Tutone strikes a pose that looks like he is about to Karate chop someone...and begins to sing...)
Tutone: "NO! I am the LUNCHtime negotiator!"
Coach Mom: "Hahahaha. Still no."

In case you are wondering, if my kids know who Monty Hall is...well, of course, they do! I showed them on youtube! You can find it all on there!

These kids are amazing!

2009-03-26T07:39:00.005-05:00

Watch this video!

My friend Sarah, over at Fanning the Flam e, has a very talented son. He is trying out to perform at a jazz festival with his partner. She would love it if you would go and vote for him today! If you are a homeschooler, you may be interested that she has even gone so far as to offer a give away contest on a Latin curriculum just for listening to them play! I say listen to them play anyway. It was a blessing!

Lions...and Otters...and Beavers...Oh My!

2009-03-25T07:14:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I called my friend Lauren on the phone. Mind you, I didn't get to speak to her on the phone until about two hours later. However, I did get to listen to little Lion girl and Otter boy argue each with a phone extension in their hand. That was fun. But after I got over my frustration that I wasn't ever going to talk to Lauren, I sat back and enjoyed the show. I found their interaction a perfect example of siblings of these different animal types trying to communicate. It also reminded me how birth order and gender roles can often affect these types as well.

The Lion girl is a little more than a year younger than the Otter boy. But that didn't stop her from attempting to dominate their interaction. She was the first to pick up the phone.

Lion: Hello
Coachmom: Hi, Lion. It's Aunt Chris. Is your Mom there?
Lion: Yes, she is in her room.
[I forgot. She's very literal. You must always ask the next question first to cut down time.]
Coachmom: Thank you. Well, can I speak to her?
Lion: I am on the corded phone.
Coachmom: Well, can you get the other phone and go get her?
Lion: Sigh. Just a minute. OTTER!
Otter: Leave me alone LION! I am playing a game.
Lion: OTTER! Pick up the extension phone. Right now!!!
Otter: Why? Liiion. I don't have to.
[about this point I am about to jump through the phone and strangle them both!]
Lion: OTTER! Pick up the extension. Push the talk button. Lay down the phone on the counter. Do not hang it up again. I will come downstairs and get it from you!
[This is good. We are getting somewhere. Of course, I would think so, because I am a Lion.]
Otter: FINE!
Lion: Good!
[CLICK!]
[CLICK!]
[CLICK!]
[Dial tone....]

Interestingly, I used to think that your first born would automatically be your driven child or your perfectionist child. But this is why I like these personality profiles. You begin to see that there are many types of driven people. A Beaver is a perfectionist (and not perfectionistic, because that is not a word and they will find it on their test) who is on the quieter side. A Lion is driven to accomplish things and an extravert.

There is a birth order theory. It is worth investigating is your quest to discover more about your child. More and more people have told me that their families do not fit this mold. There is a variables page that can explain why this is true. My family did not fit into this mold either, so don't feel bad. But do look at it and see if it is helpful to you.

It's also important to note that contrary to popular opinion, girls and boys, men and women are different. Gasp! It's true. And not just for the obvious reason. There are many things that make them different and this will show up in the way they react to things as well. Anybody who tells you that boys and girls will react the same either never had a child of each gender or is in denial. Work as hard as you like to try to condition them to be the same, they are different.

My husband's commentary on my personality profile was a perfect example of this. Somebody pointed out that I was a Lion. He said, "No, she is a Lioness. Have you ever seen a lion? They are lazy, but a lioness works hard. A lioness is the hunter. The lion just sits around waiting to be fed." I thought that was funny.

One final comment on these personality profiles is do not use them exclusively. Do not put your child in a box because of them. Your child will exhibit unique traits that you will need to take time to get to know. This is a great starting place, because they will enjoy that you are trying to get to know them. But honestly, this is still all surface level. You will need to understand more about them and their motivations to really understand their behavior.

A perfect example exhibited itself in our family on Monday. Tutone is the type of kid that you would think based on his personality profile is an extravert. He used to be very introverted. He would be drained to be around people. That's how you know if you are introverted or extraverted. But at some point that changed. Now, he acts very brave, when everyone else is around. If it's just us, he never wants to try anything. He learns everything in front of a crowd. I believe he will be the guy who dies doing something that started with, "Hey dude! Hold my beer. Watch this!" Monday, he decided it would be a great idea to do a back flip off of a trampoline. Unfortunately, he didn't tell us until he started to feel sick on Tuesday. He's fine though, just a mild concussion.

On the other hand, there is Super. His personality profile shows that he would be introverted. But honestly, both my kids are extraverted. Being near people winds them up, that's how I know. It's just that he has more traits that put him on the introverted side of the personality profile. He is a Golden Retriever-Beaver. I am a Lion-Otter. But here is something he does just like I do. He will try anything alone, with nobody watching. He wants to make his mistakes and learn from them without an audience. I feel the same way. Call it pride if you want, but I'd rather figure it out first before I make a fool out of myself.

The point is that nobody should be put into a box. That's why there are so many choices for tests. Use as many of them as your child will allow you to. Most kids and youth I have met are perfectly willing to allow you the time to find out about them. You can tell them, "It's all about you!" Paint a picture of your child, your unique creation. Maybe while you are doing this, you will learn more about yourself in the process. And maybe, just maybe, you will start to learn enough about how to communicate better with them the next time something starts to go wrong.

Chris' Crazy Crockpot Corner

2009-03-24T07:30:00.002-05:00

In the bottom right-hand corner of this blog, you will find a new feature. I call it the "Crazy Crockpot Corner". If you have a recipe for the crockpot that you would like to share, be sure to email it to me. But beware, this feature is not for the faint of heart. Because I use my crockpot to cook dinner almost exclusively, there will be recipes down there that you might be surprised find. Nobody, even the Irish, could eat Guinness Stew every night!

You may say to yourself, "Is she insane, you cannot make this in a crockpot?!?" Well, of course I am insane! That's been firmly established, but I don't see what that has to do with whether or not my recipes will work or not! So I will make this oath...I am not just copying recipes from other places on the internet. All of these recipes have been tried by my family. As best I can, I copied them exactly the way I last made them (inside joke to all my friends who know I hardly ever make the same thing, the same way twice).

Why would anybody use their crockpot to make dinner every night? Remember, I said almost every night. Fridays, I use my bread machine and my pizza oven. On weekends, I use my microwave (leftovers don't you know!). The main reason is that by the time we finish with school, it's time to run off to an activity in the afternoon such as piano lessons or swim lessons. Then as soon as we get home, it seems like we have 20 minutes to eat, before it's time to run off again -- to Scouts or Youth group, or....

I know that I am not alone in this. I hear the same complaint from many mothers, nor is this a problem that is exclusive to homeschoolers. In fact, it's probably more prevalent outside of homeschooling. It's also been proven that the families that eat dinner together have children who communicate their problems more effectively to their parents, which has been what we have been emphasizing. What to do?

I solved this problem with my crockpot! Now, when I get up in the morning I toss things into it and it's ready when we run in the door. We can spend our 20 minutes together eating, because it's ready when we get home. We can talk pleasantly (yes, surprisingly when you aren't as rushed it is a little more pleasant) together over dinner. To be fair, sometimes it takes a little more than tossing in ingredients. But I am blessed with sons who like to eat, so I am teaching them to cook. In the morning, it's part of the chores that we divide out getting ready for breakfast, cleaning up, and getting ready for dinner. It's marvelous to have more time in the afternoon to (gasp) workout occasionally and in the evening not be so rushed!

I hope you enjoy! Crockpots aren't just for stews and chilis anymore! Although once in a while, for all you traditionalists, I may throw in one of those recipes as well.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

2009-03-23T14:08:00.003-05:00

I've noticed that over the years words change their meaning. Sometimes words with opposite meanings have even come to mean the same thing. Cool can mean awesome. Hot can mean awesome. But then again, awesome can mean...awesome. You get the picture. But I thought before we got into our next topic, I would talk about two words that often get used the same, but really do not mean the same thing.

Correction:
something that is substituted or proposed for what is wrong or inaccurate; adjustment; discipline

Confrontation:
an open conflict of opposing ideas, forces, etc.;

Hmmm...okay...the dictionary says that these words are not the same. But, just in case...let's try the thesaurus.

Correction:
amendment, improvement, modification, repair, reparation

Confrontation:
battle, contest, crisis, hostility, showdown, strife, warfare

I'm not making this up folks. Look it up for yourself if you want to. Since I will not be using these words the same, I thought it would only be fair to let you know, that they are not the same thing.

As I pointed out in my earlier post, our goal with communicating with our child, I assume, is correction. In other words, I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that when you do whatever it is you are doing right now to communicate with them it's because you would like them to change a behavior. I mean otherwise, you and I wouldn't really be having this conversation, right? I'd be off sipping a cup of tea, listening to birds chirp in the sunshine and the sound of children laughing as they cheerfully do all their chores and never, ever fight...what? Oh, I'm sorry did I drift off for a minute there? Where was I? Oh, that's right. Confrontation. Lovely.

Do yourself a favor. Learn from my mistakes. Confrontation is not an effective method of correction. Ok, that's it. I'm done. Oh, you wanted more information than that? Yeah, because it's really not as simple as it sounds is it? Later, I'll be talking about correction, where, when, why, how...

But confrontation...is there a place for confrontation? We will talk more about this tomorrow (hopefully)!

God bless!

No, really? Who IS this kid?

2009-03-23T10:45:00.002-05:00

After all this posting about who your child is not, why don't we find out more about this person with whom you have blessed? There are many "tests" out there that will help you find out things that you need to know about your child. In many cases, if your child is now a pre-teen, or teenager, they have changed drastically from the child you once knew. So if you are saying to yourself, "Oh, I did that already," but it has been five years ago or longer...it's time to do it again.

Some tests that I have found extremely helpful in learning who my kids are...

Learning styles tests

These are important to communication and not just teaching. Why? The fact is they are the same thing. Most of the time when you are "communicating" with your child, you are really trying to teach them something or at least, that should be the goal!

Let's say that your child is a visual learner and you are constantly explaining things to him using lots and lots of words. Good luck with that. People who are visual learners generally do better if they see a diagram of something or if they watch someone demonstrate what they mean. On the plus side, these are usually the kids who can find things that are lost or will go right back to where they left something, that is...unless someone moved it. That's because they can "see" it in their minds. What if your child is a kinesthetic learner? You could explain until you are blue in the face, but until they start to do something themselves, they are never going to learn. Trust me. I have one.

Also, remember how someone sends a message is not necessarily how someone receives it. For example, both people in my house who are the biggest visual learners...yeah, we are the biggest talkers. So it would be better I guess if we were surrounded by auditory learners, right? But we sure aren't made that way ourselves!

I highly recommend the book, "Discover Your Child's Learning Style" by Mariaemma Wills and Victoria Hodson. Not only does it have a test to determin your child's learning style, but also explains the different styles, and how to work with children with them.

Personality Profiles

There are many different types of personality profiles. Try to steer away from ones that make determinations based on silly things such as your favorite color. Also, definitely stay away from profiles that emphasize one personality as better than another. The point of the test is to help each child (and you) know their strengths and weaknesses. Incidentally, it would be good for you to know your own as well! If your personality is one that is in contrast with your child's, you need to understand that this is not something that is personal, nor is there a "right" or "wrong" way to be. There is a right and wrong way to act.

This is why we are spending time trying to find out how to communicate, so your child understands the difference between "butting heads" and "drawing boundaries". We all bring different gifts and talents to the party for a reason! Yet, we all have these faults we need to work on at the same time. Try to find out what your child and yours will before the ruckus starts. It will save you a bunch of grief.

I recommend the Gary Smalley "animal" personality test, even most people who cannot stand someone putting them into a box, can relate to being an animal. Of course, like everything else, it's a generalization. Most people who I know seemed to enjoy it. I'm sure after you see the test, you won't need me to tell you that I am a Lion-Otter (Lion for work, Otter the rest). I really loved my friend Jamie's reaction when he saw the test. He said, "They don't have a category for Weasel." Hopefully, your child won't need that category.

Another choice is the old stand-by -- the Myers Briggs Test. My husband is not a big fan of Carl Jung, however we knew that anyway because his personality profile told us that he wouldn't be.

Love Language

Finally, and not because it is least, but because I want it to stick in your mind, is the Love Language. What is your child's Love Language? There are five of them. We have a tendancy to speak to each other in our own love language instead of the one that the other person can hear. Over the years, we may begin to speak our spouse's love language because we learn their love language. But we need to understand that children do not even know that there is such a thing as a love language. Unfortunately, if we do not speak our child's love language, they totally miss the fact that we love them, especially during those trying teenage years. Meanwhile, we scratch our heads and say, "How can they not know that we love them?" But the reason is because we are not speaking to them in their language. There are five languages - words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

This is one my favorite series of this type of non-fiction (the other I will talk about in another post). "The 5 Love La nguages of Teenagers" is a must read for any mother, whether you have a teenager or soon will!

That's great! I read all these books. I administered all these tests. Now what?

Now, let's say you have a Lion-Otter, who learns by doing things, and needs to be shown love by many words of affirmation, but shows love by lots of physical touch. Meanwhile you also have a Golden Retriever-Beaver, who learns by seeing everything, who needs lots of words of affirmation, but shows love by acts of service. Well, then you would be insane like me! So let's not go there. No, I'm kidding, sort of. That's what you have to figure out.

Slowly once you learn these things you start to learn what to say and what not to say, what to do and what not to do. Watch their body language. Do you see the wall go up, when you start to do or say something? Well, then try to do something to lower it again. Usually, your child will have a "tell" that says, "I'm no longer listening to you." Stop then. There really is no point.

Correction needs to be to correct. It does you absolutely no good if they stop being in a receive mode. It may make you feel better to "vent", but it's not constructive!

So, that's the first thing to start "experimenting" with...and that's the real reason why we took the time to do these tests. Find out how you can break through that wall and communicate with your child. Look for the signs that you are getting through and look for the "tell" of the wall.

God bless! Peace be with you and your household!

Spring is in the air!

2009-03-23T10:13:00.003-05:00

Spring is here! I know some of you are still waiting, but here in Texas we have the colorful flowers, blooming trees, and warmer temperatures to prove that it is that time of year again. This brings Coach Mom out of hibernation! I know, scary thought, that I could dig deeper to find even more energy! Hopefully this means that I will actually be able to catch up and put into words the many posts that I have had rolling around in my head. Also, I am hoping to tell you all about our marvelous mission trip over Spring Break to Beaumont, Texas!

Who is this kid?

2009-03-04T10:42:00.002-06:00

In my last blog I listed some people whom your child was not. I also listed some people whom you and your spouse were not. I will now list a very important component of this exercise.

Your child is not any of their siblings.

This is one of the hardest lessons to learn. DNA is a freak thing. How can children be so different from one another? I tell people all the time, "Siblings are not opposites of each other. It's more like a color wheel. Think of each one as a complementary color." If you think of your children as opposites, that can be dangerous too.

And yet, even though we know that they are not the same, we attempt to treat them the same. Even worse, we get upset with them because we are afraid they will make the same mistakes as their siblings. Or we compare them with their siblings and wonder why they cannot do things the same way. Sigh. What a mess!

So before you start any conversation with your child, remember this is a brand new person. They are unique. They are not like anybody else on this planet. They have different things that motivate them. They are going to have different things that interest them. This means that when you are trying to communicate with them you are going to want to know what their "triggers" are - the good ones and the bad ones. I reiterate, you are the adult. You may wish you were not the adult. But you are! Which means, it is your responsibility to conduct this conversation in a civil, constructive, and instructive manner.

How to start a conversation with your kids...

2009-03-04T09:10:00.003-06:00

This seems like such a simple thing doesn't it? Talking to your kids? Honestly though, is it?

I am going to spend the next couple of blogs sharing tips on how you can break down the walls that form between you and your kids. But first, let's set some ground rules. Let's start with you and your expectations. The fact is this...you are the adult. You need to be the bigger person. When you have a problem with your child, this should not sound like a squabble between siblings with a "he (or she) started it" mindset. If you find yourself sinking to that level, you need to stop and take a break before you continue any conversation with your child.

The main types of conversations you can have with your child are "chatting", "instruction", and "we have a problem". Chatting or instruction can easily turn into "we have a problem" so tread carefully!

Everything hinges on you and your attitude. Parenting is hard. Anybody who told you otherwise was lying. If you don't have teenagers, awesome! Now is the time to start working on these ideas so you are ready by the time you have them. If you do have teenagers, you need to understand, life is a process. It's daily. Keep working on it. So how do you do that?

Here are the ground rules...

1. Your child is not you. What?!? I know! It's a concept isn't it? I know people who will read this and think, "Oh, thank God!" I know other people who constantly expect their children to think like they do. They never seem to communicate clearly with their children because they are expecting their child to just "know" what they meant or do things like they would. It just doesn't work that way. God made each of us different, thankfully or the world would be quite boring!

2. Your child is not your spouse (or ex). Again, I know! Crazy concept! They may look like you. They may look like your spouse. They may even have character traits of one or both of you. But, your child is completely unique. Being angry with your child when they exhibit a trait that annoys you when it annoys you because your spouse or ex-spouse exhibits that trait isn't fair. You need to check yourself. It's almost better to find a way to get a sense of humor about it.

3. You are not your parents. Whoa! I see a pattern developing. You may think your parents did a great job raising you. You may think you had the worst parents on earth. Either way, you are not them. You are you. Somehow you are going to have to come to terms with raising the kids that God gave you with the personality God gave you. Weird, huh? You may find yourself saying things your parents said. Of course! They raised you and you learned from them how to be a parent. You are still not them. We will expand on this more in a future blog.

4. Your spouse is not your in-laws (or ex spouse is not your ex-inlaws). You may like your in-laws. You may think your in-laws are insane. You may like them sometimes in small amounts. Either way, your spouse is not them either. Wow! This is really something isn't it?

Why did I bother to lay all this out? I mean, you saw the punchline before I got there, right? Sometimes you know something in your mind, but you don't know it in your heart. Sometimes you know it, and then you blow your stack and you forget. Sometimes I talk to you when I am talking to myself. Sometimes I talk to myself when I am talking to you. Get it?

Anyway, the deal is this...how often do we start going after our kids with an agenda that has absolutely nothing to do with them and everything to do with us? Your purpose on Earth is to instruct your child in the way they should go. Absolutely! Totally with you on that. But, as my friend Derek says, "Is this really a moral issue?" I mean, is it something that requires correction, or is it a personal problem with you? If you spend time frustrating your child over little things, you are going to build yourself a big wall. Then when it comes time for a BIG thing, you are not going to be able to talk over that wall. Don't worry, we'll delve more into this later too. But in the meantime, in my next blog we are going to take some time to get to know this great unique person that God blessed you with!

I know you've been wondering...

2009-02-25T08:12:00.003-06:00

I know you've been wondering what the "hot topic" is that I hinted in my past blog. I'm sure most of my friends think that they know what it is already...but surprisingly it's not politics. Well, not entirely. Although I am passionate about politics, this blog is generally about our lives with our kids.

The "hot topic" that I am getting prepared for is talking to your kids (da da dum). A few Sundays ago, our pastor pointed out that people really don't like it when you give them advice about parenting. He is right. But since some of my friends asked me to share my experiences, it's not really unsolicited advice is it? Besides you don't have to read it, do you? ;)

Actually, it made me laugh that my friends started asking me about how to survive life with teenagers. But God has a strange sense of humor. I guess if I can learn something from my mistakes and you can learn something from my mistakes, then it all is somehow worth it. In any case, writing as I am making mistakes is a cheaper form of therapy than the one the world subscribes to. Unfortunately, Super and Tutone read this blog too...so I have to be careful not to give away all my secrets. Otherwise, Tutone will find a way to use my tactics against me.

There are two big reasons that I am changing the direction of this blog. First, many of the things that I wanted to talk about were interfering with my ability to write anything else. It was overwhelming. Second, Coach Mom has hung up her cleaning whistle. Ok, I haven't hung it up entirely. But as I pointed out in my blog on goals, I evaluate how things are working seasonally. I needed a break from being the "bad guy" all day long. I could no longer be the educator all day and then the choremaster all afternoon. It was getting to me. I needed some time with the kids where I felt like I wasn't "on them". Unfortunately, I didn't pass the whistle on to anybody else. I just stopped checking up on them. This resulted in a situation which will now require us to replace Tutone's bathroom floor. Sigh. Remember, to quote Tim Lambert, of the Texas Home School Coalition Association, "You get what you inspect, not what you expect."

So Dad will be the new inspector, so that Coach Mom can take a break. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have that opportunity. But if you do, I suggest that once in a while, you switch roles that way. Shaking up the kids that way is never a bad thing. It keeps them on their toes. The boys were hopping to keep those bathrooms clean this week. :)

Back to Resolutions...

2009-02-23T12:19:00.003-06:00

So what, if anything, does being a Renaissance Woman have to do with creating resolutions?

Remember, a couple of weeks ago, when we discussed that creating a resolution was nothing more than a fancy term for setting a goal? No? Then, you might want to make one of your resolutions to start taking ginkgo biloba. Every year, actually seasonally, when I go through the process of goal setting, I choose goals based on the triangle principle - healthy soul, healthy mind, healthy body.

First, look at the three sides of the triangle and think of each part. What are some general things you would like to improve in each category? This is also a great exercise to work on with your kids. Let me tell you what the kids came up with when I worked with them on this exercise.

Soul
prayer
service
fellowship

Mind
school
studying
reading
games/play

Body
exercise
food/water
sleep
hygiene
chores

After you have come up with general categories for each side of your triangle, then start thinking about specific actions you could set for each of the goals you chose. For example, the child who chose "fellowship" under Soul, said that he felt like he needed to participate more in Youth Group activities. The child who chose "service", indicated that he wanted to participate more in homeless missions work. Both children chose "chores" under Body, because they felt like either their room (Tutone) or their bathroom (Super) could be full of germs that could affect their health. (Ahh...it makes a Coach Mom proud.)

Finally, after you have assigned at least one, but no more than three, specific actions in which you could improve yourself under these goal categories for each triangle side, choose one from each side of the triangle to do this month. What?!? Are you as bad at Math as I am? So if you have 5 general goals under the Body side of your triangle and you assigned 3 actions to each, you would have 15 actions from which to choose. Either way, you should only have 3 actions that you are attempting this month, and they should not be from the same side of the triangle! Remember these are new things, not things you are already doing! No cheating!

Let's play pretend for a minute...

Abigail would like to start going to prayer meetings on Wednesday nights (Soul - prayer); she would like to participate in a Bible study (Soul - scripture knowledge); and she wants to start volunteering at the pregnancy center (Soul - service). She wants to read a book on the Revolutionary War (Mind - historical knowledge); she wants to compile her family history on the computer (Mind - historical knowledge); and she would like to volunteer at the local historical society(Mind - historical knowledge). She needs to get into a regular workout routine (Body - exercise); she needs to drink less coffee and drink more water (Body - food/water); and she needs to start counting her Weight Watcher points again (Body - food/water).

Oh wait! Shoot! I am Abigail. You know what's funny? I didn't even realize that this was my list until half way through making it up. :) Sharpest knife in the drawer that Coach Mom is! Anyway, I digress as usual, but you know that already. So, what would happen if Abigail made all these changes at once? That's right! We would have to call the ambulance or Bellevue (blatant Barney Miller reference for those under age 35 or who didn't grow up in NYC). So we only choose one from each side of the triangle at a time. We do this for one month straight.

You know, they say it takes 21 days to make a habit. I don't know about you, but I am more stubborn than most people. So let's make it a month. Then come back to your list, and add something else. If you keep going for three months, and then reevaluate next season, you will keep up this improvement process. You may not become a Renaissance woman. You may find yourself more of a generalist, someone who knows a little about many different things. But I still say you will find that it is well worth it! If nothing else, it will make you the talk of the town! You could tell them...Coach Mom said!

You can be a Renaissance Woman!

2009-02-23T11:02:00.002-06:00

What exactly does it mean to be a Renaissance Woman?

Please bear with me while I go off into a very long drawn out boring sports story in which only I am interested. It is my blog after all. Mike Leach is the current head coach (yes, football!) of the Texas Tech Red Raiders. (Congratulations Coach on your new contract extension!) He has a J.D. from Pepperdine University School of Law. Emory Bellard, creator of the Wishbone formatio n, described Coach Leach as performing the best offensive coordination effort in the country. After his big win against University of Texas in November, while the whole country (ok, college football fans) were talking about Michael Crabtree's last second catch what was he doing? He was quoting an exchange between Winston Churchill and Nancy Astor, the first woman to sit in the English House of Commons, from a book he was reading, "The Wicket Wit of Winston Churchill".

Coach Leach has been described as either a Renaissance Man or a flake, maybe both. But what exactly does this term mean? Well, we get a clue from the context of this story. Unless, of course, you tuned my story out, that's been known to happen from time to time. (Don't think I don't notice!) A renaissance man is defined as someone who is skilled in multiple disciplines. This is based on the artists and scholars of the Renaissance Era in history. There is also another term that people like to apply to this level of skill and knowledge called a polymath, which comes from the Greeks.

Why is a becoming a Renaissance Man (at this point we will start changing the title to Renaissance Woman) so important? The greatest of all Renaissance Men was Leonardo da Vinci, and he gave us a great guide for this behavior. See if it sounds familiar to you. Leonardo da Vinci was a brilliant man who excelled in all areas of his life. He realized that it was important to build up every part of you. This means not just your mind, but your body, and your soul. In a way, it's like a triangle. If one part of your triangle collapses, so too then do the other two sides.

Ask yourself, how many times you have neglected sleep only to have it affect your ability to think? How many times has a headache affected your mood? The answers to these questions are so obvious that the questions seem almost rhetorical, however I ask them for a reason. Da Vinci said "I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do."

We know these things, but we do not do them. It is so frustrating. Fortunately, God loves us. He gives us grace. The ability to get up and try again tomorrow, and not just tomorrow, but later today. Don't wait until tomorrow!

Also, you are not alone! Paul wrote, in his letter to the Romans, "So the trouble is not with the law...the trouble is with me...I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate...Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord." Don't let someone tell you that you cannot do it! You can do it! You just have to figure out what "it" is...don't worry we will talk about that some later today or tomorrow. (You knew we would, right?)

There are many philosophies in existence that discuss the balance of the human being with these parts - mind, body, and soul. All I know is that when I filled the hole in middle of my triangle with God, everything else began to make sense. Somebody greater than Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:30)

Long overdue...

2009-02-23T10:56:00.002-06:00

I have been taking a break from blogging. Not because I wanted to or needed to, mostly because I have been reflecting on the topics of this blog. After consulting with the people who coach Coach Mom, I have decided to take their advice. Please be advised that some of the topics of this blog may be different than those you have read in the past. I hope that you will still enjoy them. It may be after I get some of these topics written, I will find myself right back to the same old thing...or maybe not. It could be I will find myself blocked by some of my friends on Facebook, but I would hope not. Either way, not blogging about these topics is interfering with my ability to blog about anything else! Now that I have built up the drama...on with the show!

Haven't you learned anything yet?

2009-02-10T11:34:00.014-06:00

Ask me...before I ask you...

Hey Central! I'm coming for you! VBS 2009 will be here before you know it!

We have lots of spots available mate! You know you had fun last year!

Actually, apparently I'm too nice. ;) Shelly's in charge of recruiting. So hurry up and call her quick!

Hmmm...what should you do. There are lots of spots to choose from...

You could be the Outback Guide for the Bible Study, or help in Crafts Crossing; and I know we have many talented people that can help in the Opera House! How about some guys to help on Recreation Rock or in the G'day Cafe? We always need help in Missions Harbor! And we will need a ton of Shepherds to lead these Kidaroos around the Outback!

Have an age preference? Hey, we've got kids of all ages! I'm sure we can find a group that you would like.

You know, every VBS I think of this lady I used to work with named Mabel. She used to take a week off from work every year to work VBS. I didn't know what VBS was. She said, "Baby, when God's ready for you, you'll know what it is." Well, isn't that the truth.

But you know what? If Mabel was willing to spend one of her two weeks of vacation a year on serving God...well, do I really need to say it? Tom has arranged for us to have VBS in the evening so that we will not need to do that. And if you put it on your work or home calendar now, I'm sure you can let your "boss" whoever that is know that you will be leaving a little earlier that week so that you can make it to church to serve by 5:45 pm.

After all...if you look at the bottom of this webpage you will see that you have given 132 days, 4 hours, 58 minutes and 30 no 29 no 28 no 27 no well you get the picture...that's a lot of notice!

Now, get in the game!

Time to Revisit Resolutions

2009-02-10T08:16:00.007-06:00

For the next couple of weeks, I am going to be revisiting New Year's Resolutions? What! Why? Well, you probably fit into one of the following three categories: you made a resolution and you already broke it; you didn't make a resolution for one of various excuses, I mean reasons; or you need to be teaching this lesson on resolutions.

What are resolutions anyway and why are they really important? Hey, you there in the back! Sit up and pay attention! Resolutions are really just another packaging of goal setting. Goal setting is important. And sorry, not just for Type A personalities like me. It's been proven that people who set goals get things accomplished. Why do you think corporations spend so much money on those time management conferences, because they like feeding you sandwiches and cookies with your diet Coke?

Think of the things in your life that you wanted to do when you grew up. Did you ever do them? Wait, see. You really did set a goal at some point. So obviously, there is something to this whole thing. But maybe there's a little more to it than just a wish that something would happen, right?

So are you ready to get in the game? I have my whistle. I have my play book. What do you need? Start thinking about what position you want to play! Couch potato? Or potato masher?

It's Flu Season! Time for a Search and Destroy Mission!

2009-01-24T08:08:00.009-06:00

Have you ever watched Monk? Well, when my family watches the opening credits in every scene no matter what he is doing, somebody says, "There is nothing wrong with that." If he is sorting the kitchen cabinets, Super says, "There is nothing wrong with that." When he is vacuuming the top of his curtains, Phil says, "Well, yeah, you've got to do that." For me, I relate to the part when Monk pours boiling water over his toothbrush. Hey, come on! It kills germs. But fortunately, my BFF Lauren bought me a special toothbrush cleaner for Christmas. It works much better than boiling water!

During flu season, cleaning your house becomes even more important than usual. When I get sick, or feel it coming on, I start looking for germ hide outs. Want to do a fun science experiment? Swab your house for germs and look at them under the microscope, that will really make your kids start cleaning. But unfortunately, it will probably give you mysophobia.

So what can you do to fight against germs? Get a good defensive game plan. Sack germs before they can pass themselves on to your kids! Here are the offensive plays for germs and the defensive plays that you can use against them!

Kitchen sponges - Do NOT even get me started. But I am not the one who said this, honey. It's been proven by scientists. A kitchen sponge can carry up to 134,ooo bacteria per square inch! Why does this happen? People use sponges for more than one purpose. Using the same sponge to wash dishes and wipe counters? Not a good idea! Cross-contamination is common. You might not even realize that you wiped up raw meat with it. Nasty! Another problem? Keeping a sponge too long. Moist environments like sponges breed germs. Get in the Game: Change sponges every week. If it is not time to change sponges but you think it has been contaminated, then run it through the dishwasher.
Kitchen sink - Many people believe just rinsing the sink out at the end of the evening is sufficient. But sorry guys! Germs are living in your kitchen drain. It's a place that you pour the juice from raw meat, dirty water, and all kinds of other things that I don't want to think about! BOYS! Get in the Game: The FDA suggests a recipe of 1 tsp bleach to 1 quart of water allowed to sit in the sink for 10 minutes.
Faucet handles -Surprisingly, kitchen faucet handles have more germs per square inch (13,000) than bathroom (6,000). Either way, it's germ heaven. Get in the game: spray a disinfectant on your faucet handles. On the bathroom faucets, twice a week. On the kitchen faucet, every day.
Door handles -Your hands and your children's hands touch these constantly. They touch things like the dog and then they touch the door handle. It's been proven that most illnesses are passed by hand to hand contact. Your door handles are a place where this is happening indirectly. Get in the game: When my kids were preschoolers and not as good about washing their hands, and not as good about not putting their hands where they didn't belong, I used to cover my doorknobs with fabric squares and tie it around with a pretty ribbon. Then at the end of the week, I could take them all off and throw them in the washer. The best part was I could play this off like it was a seasonal decoration. I had different fabric for Christmas, Valentine's, St. Patrick's...you get the idea. The other less fun thing, but easier thing, you can do, is spray your door knobs with a disinfectant at least twice a week.
Toilet bowl - Ummm....duh? But here's the facts. 3.2 million (can you hear Mike Myers saying "million" here?) germs per square inch. Get in the game: Here is the thing that people forget about...clean the outside of the bowl as well as the inside. It takes longer but it's not just about the inside. Clean the lid! Clean the handle. That's what your hands are touching! Clean the floor around the toilet. Nasty! Enough said? And if you have boys, make them clean this. It will make them aim better!
Bathtub - Again, it's all about the drain. The drain of the bathtub has 120,000 germs per square inch. So it's not just about getting rid of the bathtub ring. Get in the game: Like the kitchen drain use the bleach recipe and let it stand for 10 minutes. Do this after you have cleaned the tub normally?

When Phil and I got married, we used to argue about (oh, I mean discuss) which room needed to be cleaner -- the kitchen or the bathroom. I said the bathroom, because you are naked in there and I have a thing about toothbrushes! He said the kitchen, because you prepare food there. Well, I know most people think I am more stubborn than he is and that may be true, but he is smarter. (Shh! Don't tell him I said that. He has a big enough head!) When you are right you are right, as my mother would say. The kitchen is a germ magnet, and you have to keep it clean! Besides, now I have kids and if you use them right, they can keep both places clean. ;)

I hope this blog article was helpful to you! Good luck!

Distractions

2009-01-15T15:00:00.002-06:00

Even with all of the rave reviews that the Fireproof movie has gotten, I still haven't seen it. It is coming out on DVD, and I will see it then. But I have to admit, even though it has a great message about marriage, I am generally not much of a drama movie watcher unless it is a mystery.

Now comedies, I love those. I must admit that I got hooked on watching some videos on youtube this week by comedian Tim Hawkins. I think he has great marriage advice too!

For instance this video on things you don't say to your wife...

Or this video on how spouses should respect one another.

We got a little distracted from cleaning this week by these great videos my friend Patty put on her page. You can see why! On Tutone's blog and Super's blog, they have picked their favorites.

...It's Deep Cleaning Time, Again!

2009-01-09T17:43:00.004-06:00

If you haven't read my blog article with the Super Clean lists, you might want to start there. If you have, you may be wondering the same thing another friend asked me this week. "Coach, what do you mean by Deep Clean? If you've been using the Super Clean lists all this time, what's left to clean?"

Hmmm...exactly! That's the problem! Everybody has stopped following the charts closely. They sort of, took a holiday. Plus, all the Christmas decorations leave behind quite a mess. Ask my friend Amy about glitter. On top of ribbon that leaves behind glitter residue, there are all those tree and garland needles, even artificial trees leave them, although not as many.

So this week, I didn't just super clean, I deep cleaned or as I told my sister Robin, I "Mama Carol" cleaned. My Mom taught me the power of three. I'm not sure that's what she called it, but since I love the number three, somehow it always stuck in my head that way. When you deep clean, you need to remember it is a three step process.

1. Remove the loose dirt.
2. Remove the grime or spots.
3. Make it shine.

How do you play this out on the "cleaning field"? It's going to depend on what you are cleaning. Let's start with the rooms I've gotten finished this week - my main living areas and bedrooms. Then in a later blog, I will come back to the bathrooms and the kitchen.

Wood furniture - 1. dust rag; 2. wood soap; 3. wood polish. Just wood soap won't do it. And if you don't dust it first, then you are just wiping the crud around for it to dry on and stick to it.

Glass table tops, glass doors or windows - 1. dust rag; 2. glass cleaner; 3. go back over the area with a dry paper towel. Be sure to look for streaks and in the corners. Windows will need the insides vacuumed out as well, and either the wood or plastic cleaned.

Wrought iron or stainless steel - 1. dust rag; 2. surface cleaner; 3. stainless steel polish. The polish makes all the difference in the world. But you have to use the surface cleaner first. If you use just the polish, you will still have the grime spots. If you only use the surface cleaner, you will be left with streaks.

Laminate floors - 1. broom and dust pan; 2. Swiffer sweeper; 3. Swiffer Wood floor mop. Obviously, you can use your own favorite product but these are mine. But the point is that you first need the broom to get up the big pieces, the sweeper for the silt and in this case glitter, and then the mop for the shine.

Carpet and oriental rugs - 1. vacuum; 2. spot treat; 3. steam clean.

Couches and chairs - 1. vacuum; 2. spot treat; 3. steam clean.

There are plenty of other things you have that are a mixture of these materials, but I am sure you are getting the idea, right? So remember, if you are going to spend your valuable time cleaning, make sure that when you are finished it looks like you cleaned!

Stay tuned for more!

That was fun! Now, who is going to clean this mess up?

2009-01-05T20:23:00.005-06:00

No, I'm serious. Who is going to clean this mess up? Sigh.

Happy New Year!

We had a great vacation. I hope your family had a fun Christmas holiday too! We played board games; we played Wii; and we even went to the beach. But now it's time to get back to work.

If your family is anything like my family, which it's probably not, I mean what are the odds that there could be another family quite that cool, then you haven't taken down your Christmas tree yet. Of course, you are waiting until tomorrow or Wednesday for the Epiphany! That means I've caught you just in time to talk about how to organize your ornaments for next year! (Since in the U.S., Epiphany was officially celebrated yesterday, I felt it was acceptable to start putting everything away today except my manger scene. I will wait to put away on Wednesday. Yes, we might be a little traditional.)

It was actually my kids that let me know that we needed to take the extra time to put the ornaments and other Christmas supplies away properly. They didn't want to rush the job because they knew that they would just be paying the price next year. It's a good point. It does make it harder to find things. With a little extra care your ornaments can last for many years.

This year I decided that wherever possibly I was eliminating cardboard boxes. I got some plastic bins and in one case, Phil spent the extra money and bought me an ornament organizer. I would like to add another one next year too. For this year, I put the kids ornaments in the one he bought for me.

When I packed away my ornaments, I wrapped them in in tissue paper and then tucked them inside a plastic sandwich bag. And before you start with me that all this plastic doesn't sound very green to you...if any of you environmentalists would like to come and save the mice that have been known to come and live in my attic from my broom, feel free! Otherwise, I'll be saving my ornaments from their teeth, thank you very much!

I have the bins separated by type. There are bins for ornaments, bins for my village, a bin for garlands, a bin for lights, and on and on. This way when I send the boys up into the attic they will be able to find exactly what I am looking for with ease.

And the best part was they thought of it all themselves, even though it meant that they spend all extra time!

Christmas Fun!

2008-12-23T19:46:00.008-06:00

These are the Texas Elves! If you want to see the Disco Elves, you'll have to visit Super's blog. Then there is the World of Elves according to Tutone. (updated 12/24/08.)

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-23T19:02:00.009-06:00

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!
Here are some of my favorite pictures from this year!

Here is Super, myself and Tutone at my bil's wedding in October.

These are of the boys at my bil's wedding. I love the ties that they picked out!

And these were pictures of all of us at the Grand Canyon. What an awesome trip!

Snow Angels

2008-12-21T21:42:00.002-06:00

You knew I would have to do it, right?

OK. If you don't watch football, then you didn't know, because you didn't even know it happened.

I'm not going to get into the whole argument about whether or not, Welker should have done it. They called him for a penalty. He will probably get a fine on top of that.

But for me, it was fun to watch. Because although I hate snow...I love the Patriots. I love angels. And I love that he played college football for a Texas university. Maybe not "The" University of Texas, but my second favorite Texas university.

Merry Christmas, Wes!

Christmas Countdown

2008-12-21T18:02:00.012-06:00

We've been doing the pre-Christmas hurry and scurry in our house. I'm sure your family has too! Finishing those last things on the huge list of things to do can be nerve racking. But since I'm the one who put all these things on the list I have nobody to blame but myself!

Phil, who was out of town working for a good portion of December, flew back into town on Wednesday night. As soon as he arrived, we ran right out to the stores with thousands of closest friends. Everybody's favorite is last minute shopping, right?

Here's the deal. You have choice. You can make friends with everybody in line or you can be hassled that there are too many other people in line. I choose to make new friends. My goal on these shopping trips is to find the one person who looks like they haven't smiled in at least a week and talk to them. Phil doesn't find this nearly as entertaining, but he has certainly gotten used to me. Besides, in Texas, I fit right in! When we moved here, the first week someone else started a conversation with me while I was standing in the grocery line FIRST! I thought, "I am finally home!"

On Thursday evening, we had the boys' friend over. They decorated a gingerbread house...and my floor...and the dog who was laying on the floor. I don't know how clearly you can see in this picture, but those little dots on the top of her head are not just because of a bad picture. Those are sprinkles. Nasty! You can see their gingerbread house creation on our school blog.

On Friday and Saturday, there was more shopping. The big present was a digital piano. Everybody is very excited about that! So our front room has now become the library and conservatory instead of just the library. Super is also getting a violin. I wouldn't tell you, since he reads this blog, but he already knows!

There have already been fights over the piano. We have had to set the timer so that turns on the piano are distributed fairly. Tutone was even heard to say, "You play Wii first. I want to play piano first." Super responded, "No, you got to play first yesterday!" Imagine fighting over playing piano first, and not Wii!

Today, we got our Christmas cards made and most of them addressed. That was a big accomplishment! Tomorrow I have to mail them. All the presents have been bought, but they still have to be wrapped. Most of our baked goods have been distributed, but I have a few left that need to be handed out. Oh and of course, the last week of the advent calendar. Can't forget that!

I hope that even with your big to do list, that you too are finding time to have fun with your family. We have been having a great time with all the activities on our advent calendar. We have been taking some time to play our new piano together, as well as play Wii sports. By the way, if you ever play Wii bowling with me, I need room...lots of room.

Calgon Take Me Away!

2008-12-20T08:42:00.003-06:00

Have you ever had one of those days? Well, my family had a few right in a row. It was definitely a "Calgon, take me a way!" kind of week. I wonder if they make Calgon in chocolate flavor?

Please forgive me that the Advent Calendar did not work yesterday. It should be working now. Thank you for your patience! I hope you are having fun with your children and the activities.

Speaking of Angels!

2008-12-16T18:56:00.006-06:00

Here are some new pictures of Babybird!

Isn't she adorable? My boys love the way she is holding her hands in the first picture. They told me that she obviously already knows how to say her prayers before she goes to sleep! Too cute!

...Crazy for Christmas!

2008-12-08T15:51:00.003-06:00

There are many things that your children can do to help you around the house. My children have produced a video to show you how they help me around the house at Christmas.

If you are looking for activities to do with your children, that are a little more, well, constructive than these, you can find an advent calendar at the bottom of this page. Just click on today's or any past day's square and it will take you to the activity for that day! Have fun and God Bless!

...The Butterfly Award!

2008-12-08T13:45:00.006-06:00

I was given "The Butterfly Award" from my friend Tammy over at Adventures on Beck's Bounty. Thank you! That was so cool!

Now, I have the honor of awarding ten more blogs with "The Butterfly Award". The Butterfly Award is given from one person to another for the coolest blog. It's one of those pass it on things so...here are my choices...

1. The Frans Clan
2. Counter Cultural Mom
3. Counter Cultural School
4. Homeschool Dawn
5. Trusting in Him
6. The Song in My Head
7. Lessons from the Barn
8. Grace for my Day
9. Sprittibee
10. Dawn Writes

Now they get to pass it on...

...Not a Creature was Stirring...

2008-12-08T09:57:00.002-06:00

...except for a mouse...in my attic! Don't think for a minute that just because I like football that I am tough. There are many things that I am a tomboy about...I like sports, but I am a girl!

Now I like animals as much as the next person, unless the next person is Super, of course. So I need to find a way to kill this mouse before Super decides that we need to keep it...or the dog decides to eat it and Super is scarred for life...or Tutone decides that a great way to torture his brother would be to turn the mouse into a science experiment. Sigh.

But whatever we were feeding that mouse seems to be making it stronger not killing it!

Want a great mental picture? Midnight last night....me in the attic...with a broom...and my whistle! And the kids saying, "Mom! What are you doing?" But I didn't hear any more mouse noises! Maybe I gave it a heart attack with the whistle. Here's hoping!

...Tree Trimming Time!

2008-12-08T09:29:00.002-06:00

I love Christmas!

My friend Lauren is very particular about things, as is my husband Phil. Whenever I give them give them a hard time, they back each other up by saying, "There's nothing wrong with that." So when it comes to this time of year, they tease me mercilessly that here is something that I am particular about...my Christmas tree. For some reason, this is something that they both are NOT particular about. And this time, I don't get it!

But still people ask me, "How do you make an artificial tree look that way?" Here's a few tips on how to make your artificial tree looks it's best...

1. First, use lots of lights. Use at least 100 lights per 1 foot of tree. I prefer 150 per 1 foot. (I got that from my mother. My father LOVES it!) The first time I explained to Phil how I wanted it done, he looked at me and said, "Ummm...yeah. You can take care of that!" Now we have a prelit tree!

2. After the lights are on your tree, run one or two garlands (depending on the height of your tree) along the pole. This will hide the metal pole and make the tree look fuller.

3. Once the branches are spread out look for holes. If you can see through the tree to the other side, take a solid color, shiny ornament that matches your tree color, and stick it inside the tree. This accomplishes two things. One, it fills in the hole to make the tree look fuller. And two, it reflects back the light make the tree brighter and more colorful.

4. I will admit this is a personal preference. When I start to put the ornaments on the tree, I separate them into colors and types. I divide my tree into four parts, then I divide the ornaments into four parts. Each side of the tree gets an even amount of types of ornaments and colors, so that things are spread out. Not too many colors are put together. Finally, when I start working on one side of the tree, I divide it again, into three parts - top, middle, and bottom -- and I do the same thing.

And now you finally understand why nobody will help me decorate the tree at church except my two best friends - my husband and Lauren. Thank you Lauren and her children for helping me decorate all those trees at church last week. Love you!

Off to decorate our house!

Celebrating the Season!

2008-12-04T08:58:00.000-06:00

My dear friend Molly @ Counter Cultural Mom is hosting a blog carnival. I had heard of these but I had no idea what they entailed. Little did I know how easy they were! Uh oh! Watch out world! Anyway, Molly's blog carnival is Celebrating the Season. She asked us to share our favorite Christmas music and books.

My favorite Christmas carol is Hark the Herald Angels Sing. The lyrics were written by Charles Wesley, who was the brother of John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist church. However, the tune was originally very solemn. A hundred years later, Felix Mendelssohn composed a cantata to commemorate the invention of Johann Gutenberg's printing press. It was the English musician William H. Cummings who took Mendelssohn's composition and adapted it to Wesley's lyrics.

My reason for loving the carol is more simple than it's history. When I was a little girl, my grandmother gave me a music box. It was a silver angel that spun in place. The song it played was Hark the Herald Angels Sing. There are many modern versions available. Charlotte Church has a gorgeous voice. I find her rendition the most enjoyable.

As for Christmas literature, Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol is a must read. If you have only watched the movie, you are missing out! Written in 1843, Dickens wrote the book to revive his dwindling checking account and instead revived the dying Christmas traditions in Victorian England. That's quite an accomplishment! Shortly thereafter, Queen Victoria began sending out official Christmas cards. Victorians were excited about celebrating Christmas again because of one book. If you are looking for a book on tape to travel with this season, I suggest A Christmas Carol narrated by Patrick Stewart.

Of course, Dickens went on to write four other Christmas books. They are filled with strong moral messages. Worth reading for older students, I would not suggest them as a read aloud for younger ones. Of the other four Christmas books, I enjoyed The Cricket on the Hearth, but nothing can match Dickens' A Christmas Carol. I am sure that's why it sold six thousand copies in one week. Quite a feat in those days.

She's No Angel...

2008-12-02T18:27:00.002-06:00

No, I'm not talking about myself. Although I could be...but I'm talking about my dog. I love angels. I collect them. So when the kids talked me into that cute little fuzzy puppy and asked to get her, they said, "And we will take care of her, and you won't ever have to do anything for her, and we could name her Angel."

Now, she's a huge 75 pound dog who sleeps with - you guessed it - us and snores incredibly loudly all night long. Then tonight, as I was typing my Corinthian Christian Academy blog entry, I kept hearing this strange sound downstairs in the kitchen. It sounded like someone doing the dishes. Hmmm...but I could hear Super and Tutone in Super's room decorating a Christmas tree. (Yes, he has his own.)

I thought maybe it was Phil. But it sounded strange, like the same sound over and over again. So, I called downstairs, "Honey?" The noise stopped. But Phil didn't answer me. Then about 45 seconds later the noise started again. So I called, "Honey?" and started walking down the stairs. No answer, this time the noise didn't stop but seemed to get louder and if a noise can get faster, the noise got faster. At that point, I knew what it was!

I crept into the kitchen to try and catch her in the act. If you could have seen her, you would have laughed. I, on the other hand, yelled! She was standing at the counter licking a plate from dinner. But it was the way she was standing, as if she was a person. And she casually just turned and glanced at me over her shoulder as if to say, "Is there a problem here?"

No, she's no angel. It's too bad I love her! But there is no way she's sleeping in my room tonight!

Remind me to give you my slow cooker Pot Roast recipe! Apparently, 2 out of 2 preteens and 1 out of 1 dog agree that it rocks!

Mommy? Is that Santa Claus?

2008-12-02T12:13:00.006-06:00

If you have ever turned around in the store and wondered if that child was talking about you, then it's time to start thinking about that "diet" word again!

In my last article on this topic, we were left looking at an extra large turkey's butt. Now we are wondering, "Did I really have to eat the whole thing?" Last week, I suggested that everyone might want to pick one thing a week to change. The choices were accountability, water, food journals, food choices, and exercise. It seems like everyone I know chose accountability. And they chose me as their accountability partner! I was left telling 35 people my most intimate secrets, so I might as well admit to everyone here, since that's pretty much my whole readership of this blog anyway...I gained 1 lb. Bummer!

Just a quick word of caution about what accountability is and what it isn't. See, when we chose accountability last week, we weren't supposed to brag to everyone about how bad we were. That's not what accountability is! Yes, you are supposed to be honest. But it's not about bragging. I'm not asking for horrible feelings of guilt. I'm not going to make everyone go in a room and say 6 "Hail Marys" and 2 "Our Fathers" or anything. But guys! Come on! Let's at least make an effort here!

Accountability is about support. Find someone who is serious about losing weight. This is the person who you can call or email and ask for advice. Find someone who has been there. Trade recipes and ideas. Discuss the things that are difficult. Come up with ways to overcome it. Pray for each other! Accountability is not about whether or not you lose weight this week, but if you have a partner and you trade information in a supportive manner. Bragging about what you shouldn't have eaten isn't supportive!

I'm not going to go into great details here about my journal. People who chose me as their accountability partner will hear all about it. I tried and I failed on the weight loss. I'll get back on the horse again this week. I'm pretty sure that pound will be gone at the end of the week. But I did well on my accountability goal. I have plenty of partners! My change this week is...more water. (I know, can you believe it? Can I really drink MORE water? I think so!)

If you need to, try that accountability thing again. Otherwise, move on to the next step! Good luck and God bless!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T07:48:00.002-06:00

On this great day, before we stuff ourselves, before we watch hours of football, and before we even take time to enjoy our families, let us be sure to thank our God for His many blessings.

Do you know the history of Thanksgiving? In school, we learn the first Thanksgiving was the Pilgrims celebrating in the Plymouth colony. But who was the president who made Thanksgiving a national holiday? Did you know it was Abraham Lincoln?

In survey after survey, our country has picked Abraham Lincoln as one of the "best" presidents. From the 1948 Schlesinger poll to the 2o05 Wall Street Journal poll, Lincoln has been ranked as one of the top 3 "best" each time. I wonder if any of the people surveyed ever read what Lincoln wrote, any of his speeches, or any of the proclamations his signed. What makes Lincoln one of the best presidents?

I think his Proclamation of Thanksgiving holds some of the answers. It was actually written by his Secretary of State, William Seward. That in no way makes the words no less meaningful to Lincoln himself, who had shortly before committed his life to Christ. His willingness to sign the document speaks boldly. Would a president today have this kind of courage?

By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consiousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

William H. Seward,
Secretary of State

Welcome to the World!

2008-11-25T12:17:00.004-06:00

Congratulations Leigh and Thad on the arrival of your baby girl! Here is a picture of Leighbird and her beautiful new Babybird.

Leigh keeps texting me about how in love she is with her baby. Who wouldn't be? Look at her! Look at both of them! Who wouldn't be in love with either of them? We sure are!

Leigh, may God bless you and your baby. Let God guide your path as you parent your child. As you look into your baby's eyes, this may be the first opportunity that you have had to understand the true meaning of love. Just think, if this is how much you love your baby, how much more must God love you?

We are always here for you whenever you need us! We love you!

...Does this Pan Make my Butt Look Big?

2008-11-20T08:09:00.003-06:00

Have you given up on not gaining weight this holiday season? Have you made up your mind that you'll just "lose it after the holidays?" Statistics show that most diets started in January fly right out the window by February. And before you give me a lecture on how statistics can be manipulated...C'mon! This time, you know it's true!

What should you do about it? If you start with baby steps, you will be on a roll by the time Christmas is over. And I don't mean a buttered roll!

Why don't diets work? Because they are "all or nothing", you are on them or off them. There is no accounting for real life. Plus, we don't like change. If you make small changes, one per week, by the end of a month, you will have made a big change in your life, and it won't seem like such a shock.

Pick one of these things per week. Then the next week, do the one you picked the week before and add a new item. You'll be on your way to a successful plan before the new year. Everyone else will be making New Year's Resolutions, while you are looking great at the New Year's Party!

1. Accountability. Every good plan starts and ends with accountability. If you don't have someone to do this with, chances are you won't stick to it. Get a group of friends, online or "in real life" and dare each other to stay on track! I am thankful for my Team Central group. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am today!

2. Tracking. No matter what system you use, keeping a food journal is vital! Having to write down what you eat will make you think about it before you put it into your mouth. I keep mine on a computer spreadsheet to make it easier Because I am boring and eat the same foods from day to day and week to week, I can just cut and paste.

You should take this on in two parts. One week write down everything you eat and evaluate it at the end of the week. Then the next week, change what you eat or when you eat based on what you learned from the journal.

3. Water. Drink 10-12 glasses a day if you want to lose weight. And coffee is not water. Water is water. I am very annoying about water. Just ask any of my friends.

Want some "water science"? Sure you do. Here's an interesting fact. Fat tissue has less water in it than lean tissue. Muscle tissue is about 75% water. Brain tissue is about 70% water. Men are composed of 60% water, while women are composed of 55% water. The more fat tissue you have, the less water you have in your body. Each day humans must replace 2.4 litres of water, some through drinking and the rest taken by the body from the foods eaten. Check out your average store bought water bottle. That's right, it only has .5L of water in it!

What does all this water do for you? You mean besides becoming the mechanism for transporting carbohydrates and proteins that your body is metabolizing as food in your bloodstream? Or transporting waste material out of your body?

4. Exercise. This is often the hardest thing for moms to add. We don't have the time. We don't have the money. It's too cold outside now. The list goes on and on. Here's my advice. You make time for the things you like. So find something you like to do and do that a couple of times a week. Do you like to walk around the mall? Bring the strollers and briskly walk around the mall with a friend. Start slow. If you have more than 40 or 50 pounds to lose, it's going to be tough to start something. But you can do it.

I don't like to shop. But I love to swim. My husband got me swim lessons at the Y. I know, he's the best. He knows that I will go and do that. Do you like tennis but you are afraid to start again? Go hit a ball against the wall of a building for 20 minutes each week. Someone in your neighborhood will watch your kids for that short a period of time! Trade "babysitting" time with them. We all make excuses and call them reasons. I do it to. But you know in your heart, that like the Nike commercial said, you need to "Just do it!"

Don't make me come over there with my whistle!

Thank you to my friend Lisa W. in Maine, turkey farmer extraordinaire of Whit's End Farm, for the picture! And to my friend Beth G. in Texas for the great timely reminder on the need for coaching this time of year!

Yes, I cheated because I have already listed both these ladies as "not my Secret Sister". Here's today's hint...this was dedicated to Sharon in S.C., a nurse, who gives great advice!

...More on...My Inmates and Our Asylum!

2008-11-17T10:49:00.005-06:00

The other day I told a neighbor that surviving parenting is 3/5 God's grace, 1/5 training, and 1/5 ignorance. (The ignorance is on your part, by the way!) Apparently, my children have been surviving on a little less training, a little more ignorance, and a lot more of God's grace!

This segment on chores is dedicated to Siobhan, who for some reason loves it when I talk about chores! She must be a neat freak or something!

The first part of any chore retraining effort is finding out what is not getting done properly. After school today, I decided to follow my children around as they did their chores to do just that. This is what I found. I hope you will enjoy it more than I did...

Usually, your coach isn't the person to call you for a personal foul. But since these were so flagrant, I think it was justified! In typical athlete fashion, my players complained, "Hey, how come I got called for the foul on that, he was the one who ___!" Sigh.

I said, "I look crazy in that video!" Tutone said, "Yes, you look like you usually do when we are done with you." At least he admits it!

...The Inmates Have Been Running the Asylum

2008-11-15T15:25:00.004-06:00

Several days ago, my friend Dody from Alaska pointed out how many days there were until Christmas. Very nicely, I asked her to stop it!

It's not that Coach Mom doesn't like to plan ahead. We all know that's not true. But this fall has gone by fast! And now...

There are only 40 days left until Christmas!

I know, now you are asking me very nicely to stop it. But according to the Organized Christmas website, I am way behind. As I look around my house, I realize I have been very busy. And the boys have been taking advantage. Chores have slipped.

As much as I have enjoyed converting this blog into my family's blog in addition to the "Coach Mom" advice column, as much as I have enjoyed the Giving Thanks Challenge (which will continue in the sidebar), and as much as I have enjoyed being nominated for the Homeschool Blog Awards (which is kind of like the closest feeling I will ever get to being nominated for the Heisman), it is time to get back to the roots of this blog! And it's time for my boys to get back to business. I just heard a loud scream from the other room! I think they know I'm coming for them.

So I am taking the day off tomorrow, to watch football, of course. Then next week I hope you will enjoy cleaning our house and our hearts together for Christmas!

...Texas Rocks!

2008-11-15T08:19:00.008-06:00

Good morning from beautiful central Texas where high winds last night ushered in cooler temperatures today! When I woke this morning and it was 45 degrees, I was reminded...I am thankful for Texas!

My husband thinks this weather is great. It is his birthday weekend, so I guess I'll be happy for him, since it's not like the weatherman asked my opinion. Personally, I was happier yesterday when it was in the 80s. And that's just one of the reasons why I love Texas, because the cool weather months don't last long. Also, the colder temperatures don't get as low as they do in many other places. Often, I will say to my dh, "It's freezing!" and he will give me a look, being from New England and all, so then I say, "OK, it's 'Texas freezing!'"

Some things I love about Texas besides the weather...football...the awesome people...football. Have I mentioned that I like football? But I really enjoy the people here too! The "cowboy" spirit that people poke fun of in movies and on TV about Texans have turned my sons into polite conservative Christian young men.

But even Texans know, that they have a different way of saying things than the rest of the country...

Texas Sayings

If it's cold, then..."It's hog killin' weather."
If she's crazy, then..."She's two sandwiches short of a picnic."
If he's not smart, then..."If dumb was dirt, he'd cover about an acre."
If you're happy, then...you are as "happy as a gopher in soft dirt."
If they did something immoral, well then..."They ate supper before they said grace."
If he's lucky, then..."He's riding a gravy train with biscuit wheels."
If he's nervous, then...he's "as jumpy as spit on a hot skillet."
If you are out of money, then...you are "so broke, you can't pay attention."
On the other hand, if you are rich, then...you are in "tall cotton."
Do you need to relax?..."Don't get your cows runnin'!"
Are you a little full of yourself? Then...you are "all hat and no cattle."
And my personal favorite, when I've done this before, then...."This ain't my first rodeo."

How many of these have I heard ? 7, but then again we live in the suburbs.
How many of these have I said? Hmmm.....
I wonder how many of these Beth G. has said. Hmmm....

...Enjoy this Repeat

2008-11-14T06:51:00.002-06:00

Dedicated to my friend Sharon in NC...this is one of her favorites...

...Never Do This...

Originally posted Sept. 2, 2o08

Here are some cleaning things that I found out the hard way. If you are a new mom or a young mom, or if your mother is making you read this because she is one of my friends, then please read this carefully and learn from my mistakes.

Things I Found Out the Hard Way

Change the vacuum cleaner bag at least once a month. Check every week to see if it is full. Trust me, just do it. Full vacuum cleaner bags will explode all over your carpet. My husband will tell you that when we first got married I didn't even know there was such a thing as a vacuum cleaner bag.

If you do not change the air filter in your central air, ice will form on it and then water will leak all over the floor when you switch over to heat. This will happen especially if you live in one of those states where the day you turn off the air conditioner is the same day that you turn on the heat.

"Unattended" laundry in the washer will get black spots in it and will smell like cheese. Forever.

You know that "capacity" suggestion on the washer? Uh, yeah. That's not a suggestion. King sized comforters do not belong in a regular sized washer. PTL, I found this out before we got the one that has the door in the front!

"Uh oh" is never a good sound if one of your children is standing near a bathroom or a kitchen sink. You know what? Scratch that. You never want to hear your children say "uh oh" ever.

If you leave a cucumber in a ziplock bag in the refrigerator for too long, it will turn to liquid.

Oh and that reminds me...food left in the freezer too long doesn't taste real good.

Red food coloring doesn't come out of anything easily, that includes kitchen counters. So you might want to cover things with wax paper first. A lot of wax paper.

Children should not be allowed to clean a room without it being inspected more than one week in a row. No matter how good they usually are. Just take my word for that. Inspections good.

And if you ever come over to my house, you are not allowed to look in one of two places. My bedroom closet and my schoolroom closets are off limits. That's where the mess is! LOL! They get cleaned more often than they used to though!

When I left for college, my parents cleaned out my closet, and they found book from the library that was due two years before. Whew! They were not happy! Use Library Elf
It works!

...By Request...this repeat

2008-11-14T06:28:00.000-06:00

As they say..."bump"...this repeat comes from earlier in the week...you lazy bums!

After watching the following PSA, I have found a few more things for which I am thankful. Watch...

I am thankful that my husband knows how to deal with all of the cables in the back of my TV! I am thankful that he can take care of my computer. I am thankful that he encourages me to learn more about my computer, although who can keep up with the rate of change of technology? Well, he can, but it's his job! And I am extremely thankful that he purchased my DirecTV package so that I can watch all my football games in HD now, and I do not have to wait until February.

Thank you honey!

And to those of you who got a big laugh at John McCain's daughter (not really) just remember, your day is coming!

Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for any of the other videos this site puts up so do NOT click on those!

Happy Birthday, Honey!

2008-11-14T05:56:00.005-06:00

Isn't it amazing how birthdays are sometimes grouped in a family? Earlier in the week was my cousin Leigh's birthday, and today is my husband's birthday, two of my favorite people in one week!

Happy Birthday, Honey!

For those of you keeping track of my thankfulness list, yes, I did list my husband twice. If you were married to hunk like him, you would too!

In Phil's honor today, I will not be posting much. I am going to be a good wife and spend some time with him. So I hope you enjoy the repeat from earlier in the year.

The boys made their Dad a birthday video. We hope you will enjoy watching it with him.

If you are wondering why the bed is in the way, it's because there is only one "safe" place to be during Tutone's safety dance...and that's far away! This is not the first time Tutone and Coach Mom have tortured Super this week. You can read more about that here.

...For my TOG friends!

2008-11-13T09:47:00.003-06:00

One group of friends I have met online is TLT. They use the same unit study homeschool curriculum, Tapestry of Grace, that I do. In the past, I have discussed how vital I think it is to get involved in a group like this! Today, I have a special message for those friends because I am thankful for them!

First, to Lisa W. in Maine...As I pointed out earlier, I love learning about my friends who raise animals. I thought it was awesome to hear about your turkey crop last year! So this video is for you. I hope that none of your turkeys behave like this one...

Our group has an event every year called Secret Sister. The most important part of Secret Sister is that we vow to pray for each other through out the year. But another fun aspect is that we buy our Secret Sister an ornament. The guessing of who was assigned who has already begun. It has sent the email traffic through the roof on our yahoo group so in order to make things a little easier, I will be posting my hints in a column on the sidebar of my blog. If you want my hints, you will have to come here.

So far my very helpful hints have been...
1. My Secret Sister has children.

2. She uses Tapestry of Grace.

3. She has a vowel in her name.
(This elicited discussion on whether or not "y" was a vowel...yes, it can be.)

4. My first "real" hint, my SS celebrates Thanksgiving in a special way.

5. Today's hint...my SS has not mentioned by her first name so far today in any "Coach Mom Says..." posts.

...My Friends Are My Estate!

2008-11-13T07:24:00.003-06:00

"My friends are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lately, we see so many things on the internet about friendship that we have become almost immune to it. And yet, besides the grace of God, it is the fellowship of family and friends for which I am the most thankful. My friends, I hope we will have fun together for years sometimes enjoying our stupidity, and sometimes forgiving it!

The internet has added a whole new dimension to friendships. You know what's great about internet friendships? Is it the fact that you can pretend to be a woman when you are really a man? No, that's not it! That's just one of those urban myths, at least that's what I tell my husband when he teases me about my friends. No, the great thing about internet friendships is that you meet people who have experiences that are so drastically different from your own.

I've always been a suburban girl. I like living that way. But it's fun to meet people who grew up in the country. It's fun to meet people who grew up in other countries! I am daily surprised by things that I take for granted that other people don't have. Thank you friends for teaching me about the world!

...Riding Around The "Rock"

2008-11-12T09:25:00.006-06:00

Poor Super is having a bad day. First, he had to get up early to have his braces adjusted. Then, he was subjected to riding in the car with his embarrassing mom!

One of the sadistic pleasures of getting older is that you are no longer afraid to embarrass your children. You know that you are not cool anymore. You are not fooling yourself or anyone else. But you know whose fault it is that you are not cool! So why not have some fun and give them a great lesson in humility in the process? Mean, yes. Fun? Also yes.

I have discovered a little known way of earning some extra Weight Watcher Activity Points...dancing in the car. Now before you think that I am being unsafe, it's mostly at stop lights. Mostly.

This is absolutely mortifying to Super. But Tutone long ago discovered that if you are part of the joke, the joke isn't on you. So this morning, on the way back from the orthodontist, we danced in the car. And Super laid down in the back seat of the car, hoping against all hope that we would not pass anybody that we knew. Fat chance of that once we pulled into our subdivision. Ah...good times. Good times.

...Happy Birthday, Leigh! Part 2

2008-11-12T09:18:00.005-06:00

As Tutone was mulling over my blog this morning, his take was...

Tutone: "Leigh must be cracking up over that story you told about her!"
Coach Mom: "I hope so! She used to love stories about when she was bad."
Tutone: "Who doesn't? I'm making history now!"
Coach Mom: Sigh...

You've got to love that boy!

Leigh was definitely the perfect woman to be his Godmother. Which reminds me of another great Leigh story...

About two years ago, the family was walking to the pool. Leigh and Tutone were walking ahead, holding hands. Tutone looks up at Leigh, and in his bragging Tutone voice (read: trash talking) says loud enough for the rest of the family to hear, "I have the best Godmother in the whole world. I have a much better Godmother than anybody else!"

Leigh answered, "That's not very nice. It's true. But it's not very nice."

Happy Birthday, Leighbird! You and Tutone are the perfect pair!

...Happy Birthday, Leigh!

2008-11-12T06:53:00.002-06:00

Today, I am thankful for my cousin Leigh, because it's her birthday! God has blessed us with a beautiful woman in Leigh! So thank you, Lord, for her life! Happy Birthday, Leigh!

Leigh is infamous in our family for her once dynamic personality. She has grown up to be a beautiful and restrained young woman. It gives me hope for Tutone, who has taken her place as the wild child! Full of energy and umm...determination, Leigh gave her mother, Lynne, quite a ride the first few years of her life!

My husband, Phil used to give me a hard time about telling stories about Leigh. But Leigh knows I tell them because of how much I love her and I love her spirit. (And it's a good thing, since now we have Tutone!) When she was in her early 20's, when she would see me, she would say, "Tell me a story about when I was bad!"

In honor of her birthday...here's my favorite.

When Leigh was about 2, I was babysitting her (translation: I was talking on the phone). Leigh, who we called Leighbird, was standing at the front door looking out the window. She was also eating a bowl of Cheerios with milk. Next thing I know (because like I said, bad babysitter!), she dumped the Cheerios down the front of her diaper and ran out the front door. I guess she couldn't figure out another way to take the Cheerios with her and run away. I started chasing her down the block, but I couldn't keep up with her, mostly because I was dying laughing, because milk and Cheerios were running down her leg. Luckily, the person I was talking to on the phone lived up the block, and he ran out of his house and scooped her up! That's the last time I talked on the phone while watching her! (At least if I was smart, it would have been. ;) )

But now that Leigh is expecting her own baby, her perspective has changed a little. When I found out about Leigh's impending blessing I asked her, "Do you want me to tell you a story about when you were bad?" She said, "I know! What am I going to do?" The answer is the same thing we all do. Pray hard that you end up with a child like someone else! And when you don't, pray harder!

Here is a slide show of my gorgeous cousin Leigh. Happy Birthday Leighbird! I love you! You are going to be a great mother!

BTW, Leigh, you will notice that in the picture labeled Easter Sunday 1985, you are wearing...that's right!...green jellies. I told you that story was true! I sure wish I had a picture of those Cheerio legs!

Happy Veterans Day! Part 2

2008-11-11T12:47:00.004-06:00

Once again, I want to say thank you to the men and women of our military who have served our country so faithfully! But now I'd like to say thank you in a more personal way.

I am fortunate enough to come from a family where the men have taken their duty to their country seriously. Many of my family members and friends have served in a branch of the armed forces. I would like to say "thank you" to them today.

To my great grandfather...
Leon Sumner Peao, U.S. Army, WWI

To my grandfathers...
Leon George Peao U.S. Army, WWII
Francis Scott Dam, U.S. Navy, WWII

To my father and my father in law...
Allan Scott Dam, U.S. Navy
Daniel Joseph Osip, U.S. Navy

To my husband...
Philip John Osip, U.S. Army

And to our extended family...
Phil's uncle, Wilfred T. Sullivan, Sr., SGT, U.S. Marine Corp, Korea
Phil's cousin, Tom Sullivan, U.S. Air Force
Phil's brother, Damien Osip, U.S. Air Force
my cousin, Tim Slowey, U.S. Army, Iraq
my sister Meredith's fil, Ramon "Jay" Chezem, U.S. Navy, Korea
my sister's Meredith's bil, Justin M. Chezem, MAJ, U.S. Army

And to our dear friends...
Derek Viljoen, U. S. Army
Phil Kost, U. S. Army

The following is a slideshow of some of the people I mentioned above. Some are not in uniform, but I'm sure you can forgive me! You know how it is to go through boxes of pictures, especially while teaching school!

...I'm Thankful for the help at Thanksgiving!

2008-11-11T09:31:00.006-06:00

My husband loves to cook. Unfortunately, he doesn't get much time during the week. Fortunately, this means he likes to do most of the cooking for the holidays! This is another reason for me to be thankful at Thanksgiving! I can watch football and he can make the turkey in the turkey fryer. Even so, I can appreciate some good humor when it comes to holiday food preparation. I have certainly prepared food for large parties!

This video makes a good case for why my husband prepares the turkey. While it is not based on my life, I think we can both see it happening!

I think we should leave the turkey preparation to my husband. What do you think?

Disclaimer: Remember there are other videos on this site that are not appropriate so click on them at your own risk!

...I'm thankful for friends...

2008-11-11T08:07:00.005-06:00

One of the things that are great about my friends is that they make me laugh. I don't know why they think I am funny. I think it's because they are so funny that when I am being sarcastic, they think I am being funny too! Either way, sometimes friends make the greatest...sparing partners!

Lately, I have been collecting recipes to put on this blog. This is the time of year when life seems to get away from us. Strangely, people think that since homeschoolers are at home, that we have more time to cook and clean. Now that's funny!

This recipe helpfully comes from my friend Sharon in NC.

Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef

1 large Roast of beef

1 small Roast of beef

Take the two roasts and put them in the oven.
When the little one burns, the big one is done.

Ummm...thank you Sharon! Now, where is that Chili recipe you promised me?

Happy Veterans Day!

2008-11-11T07:40:00.003-06:00

Happy Veterans Day!

My Thankful Challenge post today...I am thankful for our military. I am thankful for those who have served. I am thankful for those who are serving in the military now.

Many times in our house, we have discussions about etiquette. I know that's an outdated ideal in many homes across America. But it was important to both my husband's mother and my mother, and these ideals have been passed on. My mother will be happy to know that we actually do use the Emily Post book she gave us for a wedding present! It's not just a paper weight! (I can see all my readers trying to imagine just how Tutone reacts to these conversations. That's for another post on another day!)

So I asked my husband, who served at one time in the Army, about Veterans Day etiquette. Although Veterans Day was originally meant to honor those who had served in foreign wars, such as WWI and WWII, with the decline of respect for our nation's military it has become more than acceptable to honor anyone who has prior military service. On this day, etiquette be darned! Thank anyone who has worn the uniform please! And then do it again on Armed Forces Day, which next year will fall on May 16, 2009.

A Veteran's Day Tribute, By Joanna Fuchs

If someone has done military service,
They earn the title "veteran," and more;
They earn our deep respect and admiration;
That they are special no one can ignore.

They sacrificed the comforts we enjoy;
The list is long of all the things they gave;
Our veterans are extraordinary people;
They’re loyal, dedicated, true and brave.

When terror and invasion were real threats,
They showed us they could handle any storm.
We owe our freedoms and our very lives
To our veterans, who served in uniform.

Our veterans should be celebrities;
They’re exceptional; no other group compares.
We’re grateful for the many things they’ve done;
They’re always in our hearts and in our prayers.

We owe our veterans support and friendship;
Let no one ever question what they’re worth.
These men and women served us and our country;
Our veterans--the very best on earth.

...More Things to Be Thankful For....

2008-11-10T13:22:00.007-06:00

After watching the following PSA, I have found a few more things for which I am thankful. Watch...

I am thankful that my husband knows how to deal with all of the cables in the back of my TV! I am thankful that he can take care of my computer. I am thankful that he encourages me to learn more about my computer, although who can keep up with the rate of change of technology? Well, he can, but it's his job! And I am extremely thankful that he purchased my DirecTV package so that I can watch all my football games in HD now, and I do not have to wait until February.

Thank you honey!

And to those of you who got a big laugh at John McCain's daughter (not really) just remember, your day is coming!

Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for any of the other videos this site puts up so do NOT click on those!

The Giving Thanks Challenge

2008-11-10T09:57:00.002-06:00

Thank you Leah in Iowa, for the Second Annual Giving Thanks Challenge! And for reminding us to take time this month to be thankful! Doesn't it seem like the American way to skip right over Thanksgiving and move right onto Christmas? That might not bother me so much if I thought that we understood, as Americans, the true meaning of Christmas.

Being thankful is so important!

So visit Leah's blog and start your list of things to be thankful for!

Now you may be wondering why I listed Kleenex as today's item for which I was thankful. I am not trying to be irreverent. I am being serious. I'll be honest that there is some humor in it, but still I am thankful for it. When we say, "Thank God!" and we really mean that we are being thankful to God, is that irreverent? I don't think so. Something to ponder, I guess. It depends on where your heart is I guess!

If you lived in Texas in November, you'd be thankful for Kleenex too. Apparently, it is Cedar season. I did not know that before we moved here. I love Texas with my whole heart. And I will put up with any allergies that it throws our way, especially since mine aren't the ones that are that bad. ;)

This morning poor Super sneezed and then came running across the school room with his hand over his nose yelling "Gross!" Ahhh...life with boys. I would think it was a cold but then I remembered, that's why they call it Cedar Fever. So it looks like an autumn of Claritin and Kleenex for him. That's why this morning I am thankful for Kleenex.

Although I looked across the school room a little while ago and he had two pieces of Kleenex stuck up each side of his nose. That's nasty. I told him I was going to take a picture and put it on my blog if he didn't stop. That fixed that problem. ;)

On to why I am thankful for you, my friends! I couldn't do this without you! Please know that you give me the encouragement and wisdom every day to make it through this journey of homeschooling!

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you."
Philippians 1:3

...Eww What's That?

2008-11-07T14:09:00.006-06:00

Actually, Coach Mom didn't say "Eww what's that?" Tutone did. As promised, I have a few slow cooker recipes for you. But our first recipe comes with a story about my youngest son, who is generally not a picky eater, but those of you with picky eaters will appreciate it.

Tutone: "Why is there green stuff in the crock pot?"
Coach Mom: "That's chicken."
Tutone: "Chicken shouldn't be green."
Coach Mom: "The chicken isn't green. It's pesto. It's on top of the chicken. That is what is green."
Tutone: "Food shouldn't be green."
Coach Mom: "Tutone! You eat green food all the time. Apples are green. Limes are green. Many of the pieces of candy I have seen you eat are green."
Tutone: "Well, I don't think that I am going to like pesto."

6 hours later...

Tutone: "Are you going to make this again next week? This is the best food we have had in two weeks."

OK. So now I should be happy because he liked dinner, right? But instead I'm more than a little irritated because...hey! What do you mean this is the best food we've had in two weeks? What about....sigh!

So without further ado...here it is...green chicken!

Pesto Chicken

4-5 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 can cream of celery soup (I use the 98% fat free)
1 cup milk (I use skim)
1 envelope pesto sauce

Serves 4-6 depending on ages of your children!

Place chicken in slow cooker. I put my chicken in while it was still frozen. Pour all the other ingredients over the chicken and cook on low 6 hours. Serve over fettuccine.

And Now for a Word from Our Sponsor, Part 2

2008-11-02T11:31:00.002-06:00

My husband let me know the other day, that it was I that had missed the point of his favorite commercial. Who me? Miss a point? Am I blonde? Oh, yeah.

First of all, I did get the actress' lines wrong. But the point that I missed was that my dear husband was saying that his favorite part of these commercials, the part that reminds him of me, is that the Mom is constantly there "giving it" to the boys. She doesn't let them get away with anything. He was admiring her. He wasn't saying she was crazy. He respected her toughness.

So my apologies to my lovely husband. And you will see, that he is number 2, on my list of things that I am thankful for! I love you!

...It's Time to be Real!

2008-10-30T08:32:00.002-05:00

This week my friends were talking about cleaning lists again. Isn't it amazing how often this topic comes up? But this time, Martha Stewart's name came up. I started thinking about how my feelings on Martha Stewart have changed over the years.

I used to love Martha Stewart when I was younger. Before I got married and had kids, I bought all her magazines. You know, before I had to pay for things myself. Isn't it amazing what a dose of reality will do?

How do I say this nicely? I am a Texan in spirit, but not in speech, so it never really sounds quite as nice when I say something. See Texans are fiercely independent and tough but then they say "Bless your heart." I've got the one, without the other. I'm a little more the bull in the china shop type. (I heard that Sharon!)

I am sure I could do all the things in the Martha Stewart magazine, if I had the money to employ the staff that she does. But even more than the staff, it is the money to purchase the materials . Early on in her career, her work really was simpler. But it's easy to pick on Martha Stewart, everyone does. It's a horse that has been beat to death. It's a problem that extends far beyond Martha Stewart.

Every time we go to the grocery store, we are bombarded with magazines. You attempt to avert your eyes from the tabloids and what do you see? You see the decorating magazines. Those seem harmless. After all, they are about your domestic art. In a way, it's about your family. It's like a trade magazine for housewives, right? Except for one thing, they are designed to make you spend money.

You know what it's like for women? It's like seeing all those airbrushed women on the covers of fashion magazines. You see enough of that and you think you have to look like that. Well, we see enough decorating magazines and we think our houses should look like that. Or that we have to serve food that looks like that. Or that when we throw a party, it had better look like that. It's unrealistic. It puts an undue burden on our husband's wallets. And we put undue pressure on ourselves. (If my husband is reading this, and wonders if I am feeling a prick of conscious about Christmas magazines, yes, yes, I am. I am working on it.)

Ladies, let's take those masks off. I believe God wants us to be good stewards rather than a good Stewart. He wants us to be who He created us to be. There is nothing wrong with decorating your house. Certainly you know, based on the lists that I have published here, that I believe there is nothing wrong with cleaning your house! And you know how much I love throwing parties, and theme cooking! Housekeeping is an art. But it doesn't have to be expensive. It only takes you.

If you really believe that He created you to be like Martha Stewart that is awesome! But if you don't, and you have been trying to reach that bar of perfection and it is doing nothing more than making you miserable, then may I suggest a more simple approach? I refuse to advertise any one show, especially one I rarely watch, but I know that those decorating on a budget shows seem to have inspired my sister Robin.

God gave you special gifts. Your creativity, your ingenuity and your family's personality should be the things that are reflected in your home. Above all else, when people come into your home, they should know who your family serves.

...And Now for a Word from Our Sponsors!

2008-10-27T11:51:00.008-05:00

Have you ever wondered how much of our every day life and speech is influenced by the latest commercials? Lately, I have noticed that you can tell which channels people watch by what kind of commercials they repeat. For instance, if it's not a commercial shown on a sports network, chances are good that my kids and I haven't seen it. If it's not a commercial shown on a political news network or a kids channel, then my sister Meredith has not watched it.

Some of my favorites lately...

My boys seems to be entertained primarily by fast food commercials. Marketing money clearly well spent, since I fathom that pre-teen boys were probably their target audience!

Super shared this little bit of logic the other night over dinner. He tried to become very serious and asked me, "If vegetarians don't eat meat because they love animals so much, then aren't 'meat-a-arians' the real tree huggers?" Then he looked at me and smiled his "Get it?" smile.

Without skipping a beat, his brother Tutone deadpans, "It's a personal choice."

I swear they practice these skits before they come to the table. And before you ask, yes, we have covered carnivores, omnivores, and herbivores in homeschool. That's the joke. They call it a "meat-a-tarian" in the commercial. ;)

...

Phil gives me the "hairy eyeball" every time the roll over minutes commercials with the whacked out mom comes on. Apparently it reminds him of somebody he knows. I have no idea who. ;)

In the latest one, the two sons are arguing because one son has the "new minutes" and the other son has all the "leftover minutes". During this argument the mom comes in to, you know, ascertain the problem. She leans over and mixes up all the minutes and asks them if they can tell now who has the "new" and who has the "leftover". When they respond, "No." She repeats, "No? No?" like she is about to lose it.

This actress portrays perfectly a Mom on the edge. Whenever she talks to her sons, she points at them and widens her eyes. Phil finds eerily familiar. The actress probably has sons herself.

My response? Moms wouldn't lose it if sons didn't fight over ridiculous things!

...

My friend Molly has had it rough with sick people in her family this year, poor thing! With no medical background, I am constantly dispensing unsolicited medical advice. But of course, I always caveat it with an oldie but a goody. "I'm not a doctor..." of course, I don't play one on T.V. so I have to change it.

My email usually goes, "I'm not a doctor, and I don't even play one on T.V." and then straight into my advice. To be fair, and Molly will back me up on this, my advice is usually that she needs to call the doctor right away.

But Molly hit me back with a good one today. And it's new! We will not get into specifics about what was wrong with her poor little guy this morning. It was pretty gross! But after I dispensed my advice, (and prayers!) she responded, "I know you aren't a doctor, but you did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, right??"

Awesome!

...One Week to Go!

2008-10-27T09:26:00.007-05:00

I will not pretend that I am not politically active! Nor will I pretend that I don't lean towards one political party over another! However, I generally do not use this blog as a political soap box.

One thing of which I am a really big advocate though (ask my poor husband) is using your right to vote. Yes, I am the obnoxious person who wears their "I voted!" sticker all day long so everybody can see it in the grocery store. You know why? Because, it's important!

Imagine my surprise then, when recently, while I was researching my genealogy to find an ancestor who felt even more strongly about it than I did! My great grandfather, Chester Allan Smith, was a lawyer in Illinois in the early 1900's. I came across an interesting newspaper article in the "Daily Review" from Decatur, Illinois in 1909. Wasn't I honored to find out that Chester Smith was one of the fighters in Illinois for the Women's Suffrage movement!

He went from town halls to churches to any soap box that he could stand on and shouted down every dissenting voice! The newspaper called him "entertaining". Men and women alike thought it was silly. They did not believe that women would ever be allowed to vote. And yet state by state, women's suffrage was adopted until finally in 1920, women were allowed to vote in their first presidential election.

How much more life does it give the study of the history of this country when you realize that your family was a part of it? Studying my family's history has given me an even greater appreciation for our country's history. But when it comes to your right to vote, no, even more than that, your duty to vote, one thing holds true...it doesn't matter when your ancestors got here!

Whether your family was first off of the boat (1633!), whether your family was already here when the English (let the argument begin) got off of the boat, or whether you are fresh of the boat (like my husband's family), you are here now! You are an American! You are making history!

Don't make my great grandfather's voice have been a waste of time! I don't care who you vote for! OK, I'm lying, I care! But still, use your voice, it's your duty!

...Let's have a Chili Cook Off!

2008-10-25T14:17:00.002-05:00

Now that autumn is here, I am planning on making Chili at least once a week.

I'd love to have your Chili recipes, if you are willing to share. So let's have our own Chili Cook Off!

My boys will be the judges. And you could possibly win...absolutely nothing.

But you would have bragging rights! What's better than that? I will put it in print that you made Tutone's All Time Best Chili List.

I know that serious Chili makers are very protective of their award winning Chili recipes. But if you are willing to share, I promise never to enter your own recipe in a Cook Off against you. Besides what are the odds? ;)

Time to go! The Texas game has started! Hook 'Em!

...I am blessed!

2008-10-24T12:14:00.004-05:00

As I listen to Super and Tutone downstairs "making their lunch" (translation "fooling around"), I wanted to take some time to appreciate my friends at the TLT group. If you are not part of a homeschooling group, I cannot stress enough how edifying it is. Of course, it has to be the right group. And the right group for me is not going to be the right group for you. But my friends at Tapestry of Grace Loose Threads are the right group for me! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are given some grace when you wonder off topic...

Thank you, Marsha, for all of the extra work you put into Secret Sisters!

Thank you, Molly, for coaching Coach Mom! Not an easy task I can tell you that!

Thank you, Siobhan, for going Irish with me once in a while!

Thank you, Anita and Sharon, for emailing me and checking on me when I go into my cave!

Thank you, Kelly, for always being quick to respond to my messages!

And all you other TOGers, thanks for all the great ideas and encouragement that you give me!

Love you guys!

...Stay Fit for Fall with these Slow Cooker Recipes

2008-10-23T12:02:00.002-05:00

Chili Challenge

Do you have a great chili recipe that's tasty and healthy? I'd love to hear it!

Here's mine. And it's only 6 WW points (for a cup)!

Ingredients:
3 lb ground turkey, browned
1 sweet onion, chopped
2 cans diced tomatoes with jalapenos
1 can of black beans, drained
1 can of corn, drained
1 package of McCormick's new Slow Cooker Chili seasoning
1 tsp Hershey's cocoa powder

Stick all of the above in your slow cooker on an 8 hour setting. That last ingredient was a secret so don't tell anybody ya'll!

Sweet and Sour Chicken

I made this earlier in the week and it was fantastic! It felt like Chinese food to me!

Ingredients:
boneless chicken breast, cut into strips
1 can pineapple chunks, drained (save juice)
1/2 cup red pepper, chopped
1/2 cup sweet onion, chopped
1 rib celery, sliced
4 medium carrots, sliced

Put all of the above in the slow cooker, with the vegetables on the bottom and chicken on top. Now you have a choice, you can pour a jar of sweet and sour sauce over it and be done. Or you can make your own healthier substitute. I thought you'd make the right choice!

juice you saved from the canned pineapple
1/4 cup white vinegar
2 tsp lite soy sauce
1/2 c. brown sugar

Stir together and pour over the rest of the ingredients in the slow cooker. Put on the 8 hour setting. Serve over rice. I usually use a 1/3 cup of brown rice.

...Use your Slow Cooker to Save Time!

2008-10-23T08:52:00.005-05:00

Fall is here and that means cooler temperature! Yes, we do get "cooler" temperatures in Texas. It's just that what we call "cooler" and what you call "cooler" aren't exactly the same thing.

With cooler temperatures, I am reminded of my old friend the slow cooker. Don't you just want to call it that other name? But I don't want to get into trouble with some trademark infringement attorney, so I won't. I also love my bread machine! You can use these two appliances to create both a healthy meal and save yourself time at the end of the day.

Now, before you start complaining (don't make me come over there!), let me explain how the slow cooker saves time. Yes, you still have to brown meat. Yes, you still have to chop vegetables. But, the difference is you do it in the morning, when you are still fresh. At this point in the day, you haven't fussed at, I mean taught, the kids all day. You will have valuable time leftover in the afternoon to grade papers or better yet, go to the gym!

Also, if you smart (and there is no arguing that we are both smart and beautiful, right?), you will use your kids to brown the meat and chop the vegetables, so there you go! Time saver! While you are fixing breakfast, have one child chopping vegetables and another child browning meat.

The bread machine is also a valuable asset. Many people get this as a wedding present and then don't use it. So if you don't have one, check Craig's list or garage sales. You might just be blessed to find one. You can make many healthy recipes with it including a great tasting pizza dough!

I promise, whatever it is your family likes to eat, you can find it in a slow cooker recipe. Don't believe me? Check on the internet. Just go to Google and type in the name of your recipe with slow cooker before or after. Go ahead. I'll wait. See? I told you!

Later, I will give you some of my favorite slow cooker recipes. Right now, it's time for school!

...Fall is here!

2008-10-22T18:58:00.002-05:00

Today, we had our Fall Festival for one of our local homeschool groups. We are fortunate to live in an area of Texas where there are several homeschool groups. I know this will come as a big surprise to you, but I belong to more than one of them. And I am actually thinking of joining one more!

The festival was run like a carnival. There were many different booths for the kids to go to. Being Texas, there was a steer roping contest, of course! Even though the steer wasn't real, I still got a kick out of it.

I was pleasantly surprised to find out plans had changed and I didn't have to man the “Rocket Launcher” booth. Last time I had this booth. My friend Anita suspects it's because I have boys. Instead I got the croquet match booth, which I thought would be fun! I remembered playing croquet with my grandmother when I was a little girl. This was nothing like that.

Of course, it's not a secret I have boys. Other species have special calls that they use to call their babies. Human moms with boys have a special call too. Like when you go to the library, and in the distance you see one of them shove the other one into a bookshelf, that's when you use your special call. It goes like this...."KNOCK it OFF!" Then they have a special response, it goes like this..."What? He tripped." Anyway, I'm pretty sure this is how I always manage to get stuck with the rocket launcher booth instead of something cute like face painting.

But maybe...one of these days...I will have a granddaughter. Of course, my mother-in-law constantly reminds me that she was waiting for the same day. I don't know how that's my fault.

...You Like Me!..Homeschool Blog Award nominations

2008-10-22T11:53:00.002-05:00

I've always wanted to do an impression of Sally Field! Well, since you can't see me, you'll have to use your imagination!

Thank you Molly for nominating “Coach Mom Says” as Funniest Homeschool Blog. Wow! When she first told me, I teared right up. I won't pretend that's not easy to do...but still! It's nice to know that people are reading this blog, and actually taking it the right way! You know what they say...if you don't laugh, you'd have to cry!

If you want to vote for this blog as Funniest Homeschool Blog, I mean, even if it's because you think it's the funniest looking, you can go over to the box on the right hand side and click on it. Follow the directions from there. And visit my friend Molly at counterculturalmom.blogspot.com to be really inspired as a woman! To get great homeschooling ideas you can visit her at counterculturalschool.blogspot.com. Many of us are voting for her as Best SUPER homeschooler. I am voting her counterculturalmom blog as best encourager!

I did not realize how long it had been since my last post! Coach Mom has been spending some extra time coaching the kids and herself! Although, you wouldn't know it from the house! Hmmm...maybe there is a direct correlation between my bossing you around (I mean, dispensing advice) and my getting things done around here. Yeah, that's it! The more time I spend blogging the more I get done around here. Justification. I like it!

Actually, we have been running like crazy between school, scouts, and sports, plus a recent trip out of state. In 9 weeks, we have taken quite the tour of the western part of the country...Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and parts of Texas that I had not seen yet! But now I am ready to settle down and stay at home in Texas for a while. Get back to normal! Well, as normal as this family gets anyway!

The email questions have been piling up and I hope to get to a few of those later in the week! Thank you so much for all of your support!

Don't forget to checkout the Homeschool Blog Awards! Vote for Molly! She rocks!

...It is a Vegetable Even If It Tastes Good!

2008-09-09T09:59:00.004-05:00

Straight from the Coach Mom "E"-mail bag is this question...

"What about if the only veggie they like is one smothered in ranch dressing??"

Ahh...good question. Call me if you know the answer, ok? I'm kidding. Sort of. Listen, who wouldn't rather eat a vegetable dipped in ranch dressing which has 14 grams of fat per 2 tbsp. serving. Most kids try to put at least a tablespoon on each piece of celery! Tutone tries to rip the pieces of celery into three smaller pieces so that Super won't fuss at him about "double dipping"!

So what do we do about this problem?

There are a couple of solutions.

1. You could try a substitute to the ranch dressing. Buy fat free ranch dressing.

2. If your kids don't like the taste of the fat free ranch dressing. Buy a packet of ranch seasoning and mix it with fat free sour cream instead.

3. If your kids don't like the taste of that, have them stir it up. It's amazing how much better they think something tastes if they make something themselves. Tutone has been known to pronounce his tacos were the "best in the world", simply because he made them.

4. Try a different dressing altogether. I like to get the Italian Seasoning packets and mix that with fat free sour cream instead of ranch. My own version of "Cream Italian" dressing. Check out some online recipes. And once again, have your kids prepare it.

5. "Jazz" up the veggies. Have fun with it. Cut celery at the bottom in 1/4 slices and place it in water for a couple of days. Watch it fan out. Make it into a science experiment. Use a special ridged cutter for your carrots.

6. Have "Chinese" food night. Get out a pan and let your kids stir fry the veggies. Put in some light soy sauce and garlic. Serve it with chicken and rice. I have been getting the new Chinese dinner kits but only putting in a small amount of the sauce and not using the corn starch at all. Plus adding a ton of my own veggies. Presto! A Chinese food dinner that is a lot healthier than eating out and the kids cooked it themselves! It's bound to be a hit!

Family Fun magazine has lots of great ideas on how to make eating your vegetables fun. Check out their website for more ideas! They have a recipe section and a picky eater section!

That's my biggest advice for solving this problem. Whether you serve your veggies raw or cooked, have your kids be a part of preparing them. My kids have eaten some of the craziest things because they had fun doing it!

...Give them a Choice!

2008-09-04T13:27:00.000-05:00

I find that pre-teens and teenagers are a lot like two year olds. Except taller...and heavier...and not as cute. But I digress...as usual. My point is that when your child was two, your pediatrician may have advised you that for your own sanity, you should give your child a choice. Would they rather have green beans or carrots with dinner? It's time to bring that trick rabbit back out of the hat again.

Notice that I didn't say you should give them a choice about whether or not to eat vegetables at all. I said to give them a choice about which vegetables. When you sit down to plan out your menu for the week (You are doing this, right? You can't afford not to!) , include your children in the process.

Everybody has vegetables they like and don't like. You would be surprised. You may think your child doesn't like vegetables. But if you really start to talk it out, you may find out they don't like vegetables from a can. Or they don't like cooked vegetables. There is nothing wrong with that. Just find out what vegetables they will eat and include those in the plan.

Listen I hate to get all "modern" on you, I mean we can do this old fashioned way if you want and tell your kids to just "do what you say and not what you do" if you want. But wouldn't it be better for everyone if they were enjoying the experience and learning that healthy food doesn't have to "taste yucky"?

My husband hates lima beans. He says that they are not food. He said God made them so that we could keep them in the freezer and use them as an ice pack if someone gets hurt. But that's pretty much the only thing he won't eat, so I can work with that. I don't like frozen vegetables unless it's green beans, which is fine because fresh veggies are better for you anyway. My kids don't like cooked veggies unless they are stir fried. That's easy! I usually just put out a big basket of mixed raw veggies with our meals. And they eat them!

But if I hadn't taken the time to find all this out, I would have spent 20 something years arguing every single night with somebody. Now is that the way you want to end your day? I sure don't.

True story. My sister hated lettuce when she was a kid. She probably still does. My Dad insisted that we had to have a salad every night with our dinner. It is really healthy to do that but it made her truly miserable. And my Mom ended being the bad guy. Of course, it didn't help that it turned into a power struggle. Every night the girl would sit over that salad and cry. It can't have tasted any better with all those salty tears in it.

One night, my Mom was completely fed up and she told her, "I don't care if you sit there until you are eighty, you are going to finish that salad!" My sister looked up at her with tears streaming down her face and said, "When I'm 80, you'll be dead." My other sister and I just stopped in our tracks. We seriously thought that girl was going to get it. My Mom just laughed and said, "Then I'll come back and haunt you." LOL!

Now I ask you...didn't you already have a hard enough day? Do you really want to put yourself through that? Just find out what vegetables your children will eat and give them those!

...We Are the Real Punch Line in This Joke

2008-09-04T11:34:00.000-05:00

Don't you love email forwards? I get a lot of them. Some of them are funny. Have you seen this one?

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

I thought it was funny. But then I realized, most people read this and just laugh and move on. They don't realize, the problem isn't speaking English. It's the American attitude that causes heart attacks.

You see, until this millennium, the "supermarket" was primarily an American phenomenon. Now, in more urban areas of Europe and Asia, this trend is changing. But we have proudly had supermarkets for a long time. In this modern era, we have achieved even great feats. TV dinners have nothing on us! We are excited that we can make dinner in 1 minute or less. Dinner is in a bag and you can heat it up in 5 minutes. Everything you need is included. We think if it takes longer than 5 minutes, then we have done something wrong. That's attitude #1 that has contributed to this problem -- processed foods. Our foods lack fiber and vitamins!

I am not asking you to spend hours in the kitchen each night. Meals can take less than 30 minutes to prepare and still be healthy. But we will come back to this later.

The other thing that people in other countries do is use other methods of transportation besides a personal vehicle. I can hear it now. Brakes squealing everywhere! "What give up my car?" That's not what I am saying. Let's face it. America is not built with a village mentality in mind. Most of us are not within walking or bike riding distance of a market, library, or our work place. Especially with what bad shape we are in. Oops, did I say that out loud?

All I am saying is that we need exercise. That's how God made us. And since America is not set up the way other countries are, you are going to have to look for that exercise. We can "brainstorm" about this later too. Right now I just want you thinking about what I am saying. This is attitude #2 of what goes into making that joke true. That is, until "The Western Culture" started influence other countries. Sometimes good things come with bad side effects.

You can fix this though! You can change it. Instead of being the punch line of this joke, get out there and get a new attitude. Let's teach our children Paul means when he says...

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

...Your Kids Can Run a Marathon...A 1/2 mile at a time!

2008-09-04T09:14:00.000-05:00

My son Super loves to run. But not everyone does. My son Tutone is more of a sprinter than a runner. But whether you run, sprint, jog, or walk, getting out there every day and exercising is important. Sometimes our kids (and we) just need a little motivation.

So check this out. Marathon Kids is a fitness program that encourages kids to run/walk 26.2 miles in 6 months. Marathon Kids also encourages you to vow to eat 5 fruits and vegetables for 26.2 days out of the month, a rather clever play on the marathon theme.

They have "kick off" events in 7 communities across the country. But even if they are not in your area yet, there is no reason for you not to participate with your kids!

What are you waiting for? Don't let your child become one of the millions of Americans who have to learn later in life what it means to eat right and live a healthy lifestyle!

...Make Menu Planning Fun!

2008-09-03T12:10:00.000-05:00

Are you bored of answering the question "What's for dinner?" Maybe you need a new perspective. Listen, like it or not, it's your job to make sure your children are fed. 5 out of 5 social services workers agree. So why not make it fun for you and them, while making it healthy?

Most of my friends think I like to do things the hard way. It's probably true. But maybe if you start out slow and incorporate some of my suggestions just one night a week, you will liven up your boring menu plan.

My menu planning involves "naming" my nights of the week. I find that if I can convince myself that I have a theme, then it feels more like a party.

This week we have...

"Sat Around Saturday" -- you guessed it. We had leftovers and cleaned out the fridge. That's the day I did my shopping.

"#2 Son Sunday" -- My oldest has left home. But my second son cooked a fabulous breakfast of two types of pancakes - chocolate chip and blueberry. Then for dinner he made our family and our guests salmon cooked in banana leaves. I am not kidding. However, this was not his first time cooking, as you may have guessed. (Remember, Coachmom says, "Use your kids!" Start training them now! They need to know how to cook later anyway!)

"Mmm Mmm Monday" -- main dishes with the letter M. Breakfast was muffins (and some other things of course). Dinner was Mexican.

"T's Turn Tuesday" -- my third son's name conveniently starts with the letter T, or at least I thought it was convenient. He choose to make Waffle House style Hashbrowns with the fixings for breakfast and Tacos for dinner. Just what we needed, more Mexican. But we live in Texas after all!

"What's That Wednesday?" -- have your kid's ever asked you, "Ewww, what's that?" when you served dinner? This would be a great time to try and make them! I make things like Baked Oatmeal for breakfast and casseroles for dinner. Try All Recipes for the Baked Oatmeal recipe and other great ideas.

"Thrilling Thursday" -- only things my kids like. Cinnamon rolls for breakfast and Texas Ranch chicken for dinner.

"Fun Friday" -- ice cream waffle sandwiches for breakfast (Excuse me! It's light ice cream. And it's got milk. It's actually healthier than giving your kids Captain Crunch!) For dinner we have homemade pizza. My bread machine makes awesome dough on the dough setting! The boys love putting their own toppings on and it's healthier and cheaper than ordering out.

I know some of these are a stretch, but it's your menu, so do what you want! Just be creative.

Some other ideas Mexican Monday, Macaroni Monday, Manic Monday (for leftovers); Topsy Turvy Tuesday (have breakfast for dinner), "T" Time Tuesday (everything starts with T); World-wide Wednesday (any international dish like Italian, Indian, etc,)...

Another thing you can do is look up the different "days" on a calendar and center the theme around that.

Is it Christopher Columbus Day? Serve a dish from Spain like Spanish Paella. (Yes, I know Columbus was from Genoa, but he sailed from Spain and after all Italian is too easy!)

How about having something with avocado in it on September 9th to celebrate the day that California was admitted to the union in 1850?

Or during Constitution Week serving a different dish from each of the original 13 colonies? Start here for a list of State Foods.

There is a lot of great "theme" things you can do. So, get up, stop sitting around and moping! You've got a make dinner. So let's make it fun! Now get out there!

...Never Do This!

2008-09-02T16:23:00.000-05:00

Here are some cleaning things that I found out the hard way. If you are a new mom or a young mom, or if your mother is making you read this because she is one of my friends, then please read this carefully and learn from my mistakes.

Things I Found Out the Hard Way

Change the vacuum cleaner bag at least once a month. Check every week to see if it is full. Trust me, just do it. Full vacuum cleaner bags will explode all over your carpet. My husband will tell you that when we first got married I didn't even know there was such a thing as a vacuum cleaner bag.

If you do not change the air filter in your central air, ice will form on it and then water will leak all over the floor when you switch over to heat. This will happen especially if you live in one of those states where the day you turn off the air conditioner is the same day that you turn on the heat.

"Unattended" laundry in the washer will get black spots in it and will smell like cheese. Forever.

You know that "capacity" suggestion on the washer? Uh, yeah. That's not a suggestion. King sized comforters do not belong in a regular sized washer. PTL, I found this out before we got the one that has the door in the front!

"Uh oh" is never a good sound if one of your children is standing near a bathroom or a kitchen sink. You know what? Scratch that. You never want to hear your children say "uh oh" ever.

If you leave a cucumber in a ziplock bag in the refrigerator for too long, it will turn to liquid.

Oh and that reminds me...food left in the freezer too long doesn't taste real good.

Red food coloring doesn't come out of anything easily, that includes kitchen counters. So you might want to cover things with wax paper first. A lot of wax paper.

Children should not be allowed to clean a room without it being inspected more than one week in a row. No matter how good they usually are. Just take my word for that. Inspections good.

And if you ever come over to my house, you are not allowed to look in one of two places. My bedroom closet and my schoolroom closets are off limits. That's where the mess is! LOL! They get cleaned more often than they used to though!

When I left for college, my parents cleaned out my closet, and they found book from the library that was due two years before. Whew! They were not happy! Use Library Elf
It works!

...Ask a stupid question...

2008-09-02T11:10:00.001-05:00

In the spirit of fairness, I want you to know that I haven't always said the most encouraging things to my children either! Remember what I said, nobody's perfect! But learn from my mistakes, because if you want your kids to help you around the house with a good attitude, this is not the way to encourage them. My poor oldest son has a sarcastic sense of humor for a reason! Although it makes us laugh, these things are probably better left unsaid...

Of course, the age old..."What's going on in there?"

"Is there any cleaning going on up there?"

"Were you planning on coming off grounding, oh I don't know, ever?"

"Does this look clean to you?"

"Why does your room smell like dirty underwear?"

"You didn't really take all your clean laundry and put it into your dirty laundry basket instead of putting it away, did you?!?"

"Why does your bathroom smell like cheese?"

"Do you really need to put on a bathing suit to clean the bathtub?"

"Did you really think I wasn't going to look in this drawer?"

"Who thought it was a good idea to stick all this stuff down the garbage disposal in the first place?"

"This was an accident? Do you know the definition of accident?"

And my all time favorite...

"Do I look stupid to you?" (then as child opens mouth) "Do you really think you should answer that question?"

Trust me, I'm sure my kids could come up with a million more. Some of my friends think I'm hilarious. My husband and my kids don't. And that's really the point isn't it? This is not the best way to motivate your team. So save this kind of humor for when you are alone with your friends, and don't use it on your kids. Remember, the things you say to your kids, they will say to your future adorable perfect little grandchildren!

...Encourage your kids!

2008-09-02T10:45:00.000-05:00

I subscribe to what I call the Cesar Milan method of parenting. Now if you don't have a dog (or a T.V.!), then you may not have heard of "The Dog Whisperer". Milan trains dogs using a special method, but don't ask me if it works with dogs. Mine is as spoiled as the day is long, which in Texas is very, very long (and hot!).

The method works like this...Exercise...Discipline...Affection

Here's how you put it into practice with pre-teens and teenagers. If you can, it's best to start at about age 9.

First thing in the morning, you get them up and you exercise them. And I mean exercise them hard - not chores, real exercise. This morning we went for a two mile run, then we came back and they swam laps. Then they came in and did chores. Then they took a quick "Navy" shower. Finally, it was time for breakfast! Yes this is one of the reasons I have the "coach" nickname! LOL!

Then, we are ready for school. Our first class is "Homeroom". That might sound weird to some people but I have a reason for it. (And it starts at 8 am so that tells you how fast they are running and swimming to get all of this done between by 8 am). The purpose behind Homeroom is a team building exercise. Your child needs to know that it's you and him/her (and that child and their siblings) against the world. You need to function as a team to survive. (Yes, more sports metaphors, LOL!) If a member of the team starts acting like a star and caring more about only himself and not as part of the team, the team is not going to win "the race".

So how does "Homeroom" serve as both Discipline and Affection? The first thing you need to know is who you child is and who they want to become. That way you will know how to talk to them in a way that will motivate them. Do they want to be in the Army one day? Do they want
to be an Olympic swimmer? Do they want to play in the NFL? Do they want to go to college? Then you work on what character traits it takes to become that person and what you see lacking. But you don't lecture them about it, use the Socratic method - turn it around and you ask them. What do they think it takes to become the person who plays in the NFL rather than the person watching the game on the couch on Sunday? Write the things down on the board or a big poster board. A good work ethic? Lots of practice? Determination? What do they think they need to change in themselves to make this happen?

The Affection part comes when you start telling them what you see in them that makes you proud. Bring up examples of when you saw that character trait in them...the things you want to reinforce. Don't keep bringing up what you want to see changed. You have already covered that. End on a note of what you see as progress. For example, "I was so proud of you when you got up early this morning without me having to come in and wake you up. You were already outside doing your chores. Thank you!" Or "During the game on Saturday, when the referee made that bad call, you didn't complain at all. But you didn't let it bother you either, you just came right
back out on the next drive and sacked their quarterback. Great job! Now that's real sportsmanship."

Most importantly, know your child. What is their love language? When you are showing affection make sure you are showing it in a way that they can "hear it". Do they want a hug? Do they want to hear words of affirmation? Do they like rewards? You need to know what a child's love language is or you could be accidentally send the wrong signal. Do not assume a child responds to your language of love.

At the beginning of the year, Homeroom is where I reassess the children's love language, learning style, etc. to make sure that I am "speaking their language" and teaching so that they can learn.

Remember...

Exercise - then they are too tired to argue back.

Discipline - when they are already to tired to talk back, now is the time to talk about what they need to work on.

Affection - end the conversation on a positive note so that they feel loved.

The balance of Truth and Grace is vital. Remember that God shows us both Truth and Grace. He disciplines us in love. But we always know that He loves us. Your child needs to feel that
unconditional love as well.

...Nobody's Perfect!

2008-09-02T10:28:00.000-05:00

When my mother read my blogs on cleaning, she said, "Who would have ever thought you would be into cleaning?" The fact is...I'm not! Not at all! But as she accurately pointed out, "Guess that's what having boys does to you!" I hate cleaning, but my husband likes it clean. And with a house full of boys, without lists on what to do, I am lost!

That's why I wanted to take a minute to point out to you that you should never read anything that I have written on my blog and think that I have it all figured out. Please! I have these things typed out for myself as much as I do for you, if not more!

Nobody is perfect. God knew that. He sent His Son for you for just that reason! A friend of mine recently said, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you." If you are looking at me, then you are looking in the wrong direction. Anything I ever get right, I get right because of His help. And everything I ever get right, it's generally because I already got it wrong at least once! I'm stubborn that way! LOL!

Some of you are frustrated with life. You are frustrated with your kids. You are frustrated with your attempts to lose weight. The one thing I can really tell you that will help? Don't try to do things on your own strength. God did not create us that way. He created us to turn to Him. And He created us to be in relationship with one another.

God knows that we are not perfect. That doesn't just apply to the big problem areas of our life but the small daily struggles as well. You need to remember that we live under grace. If you are expecting yourself to be perfect then you are never going to have joy in your life and you are not being the person that God fully created you to be. Everyone reading this has something to add to another person's life through the lessons you have learned and the struggles you have faced. It's not prideful to realize that and let God use you to help other people. But it is being prideful to think that you can and will do everything right all the time! Trust me, I know what I am talking about!

God wants you to ask Him for help. If you have never done that before and you want to know how, please feel free to contact me.

Now get out there and have a great day! God Bless you!

How I got the "Coach" nickname

2008-08-28T17:13:00.000-05:00

In honor of my son, Mike, who left for college this week, let me share the story of how I got the "coachmom" nickname.

One day when Mike was 16, I was trying to give him a pep talk about his school work. Notice I said "trying to". LOL! He was sitting on couch because he had learned that it was to his disadvantage to be six inches taller than me. He couldn't help looking down at me and it infuriated me! And now he's about 8 inches taller than me!

Anyway, there the poor boy was sitting on the couch, listening to me and watching me pace back and forth. I told him that I knew he was smart but that he needed to "get out there and show it to me" and that I wanted to "see the fire in his eyes". Trust me, there was at least a hundred sports metaphors in this 10 minute tirade.

All finished with this great work of parenting art, I looked at him and said, "Well what are you waiting for? Get upstairs and get to work."

With his blue eyes sparkling, he said, "Coach? Oh, sorry! I was waiting for the whistle."

...Assign age appropriate chores!

2008-08-27T19:34:00.000-05:00

Many people ask, "How do I know what chores to assign my children?" Some people mistakenly believe that their children are "too young" to help with chores. But the fact is that when they are young is usually when they want to help you. So why discourage that? Start early promoting that "team" culture in your family!

Chore charts with stickers or smiley faces are a great way to encourage younger children. "Allowances" that award a small stipend of money or privileges for chores completed is a great way to encourage older children. But beware the allowance comparison game. I don't really care what the "going rate" is for allowance. The point of giving my older children an allowance is to teach them responsibility in saving, spending, and tithing.

And now...The Charts!

Preschoolers - 2's and 3's

Stripping sheets off the bed on laundry day.
Take your clothes to the laundry room on the laundry room.
"Making the bed" - putting pillows and stuffed animals in place. Helping pull up the comforter. (Obviously, not tucking the sheets in neatly at this point! ) But this sets the stage that this is your bed and it is your responsibility to make it everyday.
Pick up toys and books at the end of the day.
Help feed the pets - in the simplest form - putting a scoop of food in the bowl.
Put napkins, spoons and forks on table before meals.
Put spoons and forks in dishwasher after meals.
Wiping up spills. Teach them that they will wipe up a spill that they cause.
"Dusting" - just don't expect perfection! But once again it sets the stage for later.
"Sweeping" - especially with a tool like a Swiffer sweeper.

Pre-K and Kindergarten

Anything that is on the preceding list.
Making the bed - at this point start working towards pulling up the sheets and straightening out the wrinkles. Just don't expect perfection. As they get older move up the standard.
Unloading spoons, forks, plastic and wooden items from the dishwasher. Putting them away in the proper drawers and cabinets. Hint: I moved my plates and cups to the bottom cabinets and moved my casserole dishes and breakables to the top so that my kids could unload the dishwasher. Anything they could put away was in a cabinet on the bottom that they could reach.
Set the table completely for meals. Hint: make a "cheat sheet" that has a picture showing the placement of the plate, napkin, cup, and utensils. The first few times have this map out so the child can follow it.
Clear the table completely after meals.
Dusting - expect more!
Keeping their room and playroom clean. Encourage the "one thing out at a time" rule. Make sure they understand the concept of "a place for everything and everything in its place."
Mopping the floor.

1st and 2nd graders

Anything that is on the preceding list.
Hint: Start a life skills book! Take a picture of how the job looks when it is done right. Take a picture of how it looks when it is NOT done right, but in a way that you have found it done before by your child when they told you it was "done right".
Making the bed - at this point you can expect it to be done right and keep sending them back until it is done right.
Taking care of pets - including giving them fresh food and water, walking the dog, and brushing them.
Taking out the trash.
Completely load and unload the dishwasher.
Fold and put away their own laundry.
Vacuuming.

3 - 5th Graders

Anything that is on the preceding list.
Hint: Update your life skills book! Add a detailed description of the chore into your life skills book.
Wash the car.
Wash the dishes by hand that need to be.
Help prepare meals.
Clean the bathrooms.
Rake leaves.
Weeding

Middle Schoolers

Anything that is on the preceding list.
Planting flowers or other gardening work.
Make a meal once a week.
Anything on the quarterly cleaning list.

High Schoolers

Anything that is on the preceding list.
Help plan the grocery list and do the shopping.
Operate the washer and dryer.
Mowing and edging the lawn.
Cleaning the pool

...Time to clean!

2008-08-27T19:21:00.000-05:00

Looking for a great "spring cleaning" checklist? Some people swear by flylady.com. I use organizedhome.com. But this cleaning checklist is one that I have developed as a compilation of many sources.

Basic tips for cleaning...

1. Always clean top to bottom. Start at the back room of your house on the top floor and work forward and down.

2. Gather all your cleaning tools and cleaners and take them with you as you go. This wasting time having to walk up and down the stairs to collect them.

3. I would not try to do all of this on one day unless you have an army to help you clean. It is best to break it up across the week or even two weeks if you need to!

Supplies to gather - long handled dust mop; broom; vacuum with brush attachment; step stool; cleaning rags; bucket; sponge; cleaning brush; glass cleaner; surface cleaner; shower cleaner; toilet cleaner; stainless steel cleaner; wood cleaner; cleaning wipes; and trash bags.

3. As you go from room to room, take a 4 way mind set with you (think about that show Clean Sweep) - think Trash, Give Away, Sell, and Keep. Do it as you go, anything that you can give away don't put it back on the shelf, put it in a box with the name of a person or organization on it immediately! If you are going to sell it at a later date, and you are being honest with yourself that you really will have this yard sale, then you can store all those things in one designated area.

4. Find a "distraction"! For some people, it's music. For me, it's talking to my friends on the phone. I put on a headset and talk my way through hours of work. Praise the Lord for long distance plans!

5. But "stay on task". Don't go from place to place. Work on one thing at a time until it's completed. Don't start cleaning the bathtub and then leave it half done to go make the bed. One completely clean room will feel much better than 3 rooms that are one third of the way finished.

The Bathroom Super Clean

Take all dirty clothing and towels to the laundry room.
Wash bathmats.
Dust the fans and vents.
Clean light fixtures.
Dust the ceiling and corners.
Wash walls.
Clean switch plates.
Dust any framed art on walls.
Clean doors.
Wash curtains and dust blinds.
Wash windows.
Scrub tub and shower. Don't forget the fixtures.
Throw away any empty shampoo containers or old soap.
Wash down sink and fixtures.
Clean mirror.
Dust any knick-knacks.
Clean out medicine cabinet. Throw away any old prescriptions.
Clean out underneath sink.
Organize linen cabinet.
Scrub toilet.
Clean baseboards.
Sweep and mop the floor.
Empty and wash out trash can.
Put out any finishing touches...clean towels, fill soap dispensers, and freshening candles.

The Bedroom Super Clean

Straighten up room before you start. Putting away clothes where they belong. Throwing away trash. Putting knick-knacks, books, and toys where they belong.
Dust ceilings and corners.
Wash walls.
Clean switch plates.
Dust wall art.
Wash doors.
Clean ceiling fan and vents.
Wash curtains and dust blinds.
Wash windows.
Wash all bedding, comforters, mattress pads, and pillows.
Vacuum mattress.
Flip mattress.
Clean under bed.
Dust knick-knacks.
Use vacuum attachment to clean lampshade.
Dust dressers, and other furniture.
Organize closets and drawers.
Clean flooring.

Living Area Super Clean

What is a "living area"? Anything that is not a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, or dining area. It can be anything from a refinished basement kids playroom to a den to a traditional living room. So you may have to skip some things on this list that do not apply to your room.

Straighten up room before you start. Throwing away trash. Putting knick-knacks, books, and toys where they belong.
If this is a playroom area, go through your toys with the "clean sweep" method.
If this is a "tv" room, organize your movies with the "clean sweep" method.
Dust ceilings and corners.
Wash walls.
Clean switch plates.
Dust wall art.
Wash doors.
Clean ceiling fan and vents.
Clean light fixture.
Wash curtains and dust blinds.
Wash windows.
Dust knick-knacks.
Use vacuum attachment to clean lampshades.
Use vacuum attachment to clean couches and chairs.
Wash or dry clean any pillows or blankets.
Dust furniture.
Clean flooring including spots on carpet.

Dining Room Super Clean

Dust ceilings and corners.
Wash walls.
Clean switch plates.
Dust wall art.
Wash doors.
Clean ceiling fan and vents.
Clean light fixture.
Wash curtains and dust blinds.
Wash windows.
Dust knick-knacks.
If you have a bakers rack or china hutch, wash crystal and china in display.
Wash down dining room chairs and table.
Dust furniture.
Clean flooring including spots on carpet.

Kitchen Super Clean

Run ice and bleach down the kitchen drain. Run the garbage disposal until ice has cleared.
If you have any dirty dishes lying around, wash them and put them away.
Organize the kitchen cabinet and drawers. Remember the "clean sweep" way! Throw away anything that is broken and give away anything you haven't used in more than a year!
Dust ceilings and corners.
Wash walls.
Clean switch plates.
Dust wall art.
Wash doors.
Clean ceiling fan and vents.
Clean light fixture.
Wash curtains and dust blinds.
Wash windows.
Clean outside of the cabinets by using brasso on the hinges if they are on the outside, use oil soap and then a wood polish.
Dust knick-knacks.
Clean inside and outside of stove/oven.
Clean inside and outside of microwave.
Clean other appliances.
Clean out the refrigerator!
Clean out the sink.
If you have an eating area in your kitchen, clean the table and the chairs.
Clean flooring. The old fashioned hands and knees method really does work best for a deep clean.

And that's it! I'm sure you are exhausted. And it will probably take all week! If you want a list for something I forgot here, let me know.

...Cleaning? Use your kids!

2008-08-27T19:12:00.000-05:00

Today's topic is motivating you into making your kids help you clean. There is a reason they call me "coachmom". I love sports, especially football and baseball. My kids have gotten accustomed to me speaking to them in sports metaphors. Hopefully, you will too!

Your family is a team. God created your family to work together as a cohesive unit! If one person is not playing their position, the team is not going to be victorious. Your children need to be taught this mindset. Children learn through repetition or "practice". Therefore, as teacher or "coach", you are going to have to be consistent. Send them out onto the field and if they do not perform the drill properly, you will have to go out there and demonstrate it for them and let them try again until they get it right. This takes patience and perseverance on your part. In the end, it will be worth it.

"That's great," you say, "but how do I make this happen?"

First, you start with daily chores. Even a three year old can put spoons into a dishwasher, or put napkins on the table for dinner. Then you inspect their job, correcting gently where correction is needed, and praising in both cases. Find something to praise about the job in either case. Correct first, then praise something. I know this sounds like a very "modern" philosophy but don't you want to work harder when you feel appreciated?

Move up to weekly chores, involving them in chores that you are not in the room for. Once again, inspect, correct, praise. Send them back to perform a chore again until it is done properly. Sooner or later, they will get the picture. Do NOT redo the chore for them. They need to learn that it does not affect you one way or the other if they spend 30 minutes or 3 hours doing that chore, so they may as well get it done right the first time. So only do this training method on a day where you were planning on staying home all day cleaning.

Once your children are trained to do daily and weekly chores, then they are ready to be involved in the quarterly chores! This will not happen overnight. And yes, my children still drive me crazy at times. They have to be retrained from time to time, when I was not consistent about my inspections. But I have heard from many people that my children are well trained in the chore arena. (Just don't tell them that!)

Repeats

2008-08-27T19:10:00.000-05:00

The first few of these columns will be repeats from my other blog. That way I can transfer what should have been on this one! This will make it easier for everyone to find the column they are looking for later.

Thanks for bearing with me!

God Bless!

By Request

2008-08-27T18:40:00.000-05:00

My friend Siobhan asked me if I would "Coach Mom" her. So by request, I am starting a column on this new blog. I am keeping it separate from my other blog so that my extended family and friends can use that one to keep up with things going on with the kids.

Get ready for the whistle!